Moo B*tch, Get Out The Way: Escaped Cow Runs Wild Through Queens, NY
J. Peter McDonald ain’t phased by a little afternoon jailbreak. Apparently McDonald also empathizes with those of you that might walk around town vaguely unsure whether the local slaughterhouse’s occupants are all under lock and key.
How about that awkward moment when you’re trying to round up the runaway cow and he straight up breaks your ankles? Like was that really your best effort dude?
An NYPD spokesperson reports that today’s famous outrageously courageous cow was first seen clicking hooves cross the paved streets of Jamaica Avenue and Merrick Boulevard in Jamaica, Queens just before 1 p.m.
Well, at least the police reported all pedestrians that were around for the spectacle as safe; but this story isn’t one with a happy ending. We all know where that brave and emboldened cow was taken back to, and hell if the evasive bastard earned himself a spot front of the line. 2% chance the poor guy escapes the udder madness of his original fate.