NASA Invests $200,000 For Poop To Food Research, Astronauts Might Really Eat Pieces Of Sh*t For Breakfast
If you’re eating something right now, I suggest you put it down to save yourself of the outside chance that you may just throw it back up after hearing this news.
NASA, America’s space agency who employ really, really smart people to do innovative things, just announced something that is fucking disgusting to think about—turning poop into edible food.
Excuse me while I barf.
According to a NASA press release, the space program just invested $200,000 towards research to make this a reality, as the organization is looking for efficient ways to cut down costs when astronauts go to outer space—and eating their own shit is what they landed on.
Granting Clemson University scientists the near quarter-million bucks, the efforts will be led by Dr. Mark Blenner, whose lab takes a molecular-level approach to bioprocessing—which is a fancy way of saying he knows how to turn poop into food.
According to the aforementioned release, NASA’s associate administrator for Space Technology Mission Directorate, Steve Jurczyk said this about the reason behind the project:
“Technology drives exploration, and investments in these technologies and technologists is essential to ensure NASA and the nation have the capabilities necessary to meet the challenges we will face as we journey to Mars. The faculty selected and their colleagues help assure a robust university research community dedicated to advanced space technology development.”
A few things come to mind to me after reading this.
First, this will make me refuse to ever buy space ice cream from a science center again, and, second, it brings a whole new meaning to the famous line from Happy Gilmore about eating pieces of shit for breakfast.
Thanks, NASA, you’ve ruined great moments from my youth with this news.