A Girl Tries To Burn A Bar On Yelp, Gets It Thrown Back At Her Because They Have Proof She Pooped Her Pants

If anyone has been to Nick’s Riverside Grill in Georgetown, well, this story won’t surprise you at all.

I worked right by there as an intern after my junior year in college, and me and my boss would go there pretty much every Friday. It was a fucking zoo. Imagine every popped collar coked up douche in D.C. flocking to the only waterfront bar in the entire city, each one intent on smashing some poon.

No story about that bar would surprise me. And in a Yelp fight between a customer and the bar that went down recently, honestly, I believe both.

Let’s start with Emma, who took to the site to comment on a bad experience.

The short of it is that she says she was charged for two drinks when she only had one and that the bar refused to change her bill.

ABSOLUTELY. If I had $1,000 for every time Nick’s overcharged me, that’d probably be enough to make up for all the extra charges they put on my card. Everyone in that bar is blacked out. They don’t give a shit. They just keep cha-chinging their register.

But Emma got pretty hot in her review. WORST SERVICE EVER. ILLEGALLY SWIPED MY CARD (I’m certain they do this as well). Her response was strong enough to prompt a rebuttal from the manager, whom Emma says never called.

OHHHH SHIT. The restaurant responded by saying that Emma shit her pants, and then sat in her shit pants for the entire time she was there, and that the shit pants smell was so bad, no one could go near Emma.

A completely immature and (probably) crap response. Exactly what I would expect from Nick’s.

It ends with “Don’t come back until you are potty trained.”

You think Emma would take that shit sitting down (in a pile of her own feces)? Hell no.

She says all her friends can attest that she was not the shitter.

I don’t know. When contacted by the Washington City Paper, the owner of Nick’s insisted it was Emma.

While an unfortunate incident in general, the woman and her friends left a real mess, included numerous towels we had provided discarded in the restaurant, dirty clothing thrown away in the bathrooms, a ugly, smelly mess just outside our front door and some very distraught employees.

The incident involved the Fire Fighters- EMT’s (with whom she refused to leave the scene in an ambulance, signing a form saying she would not depart with them), we have the woman on film, we have two bartenders who recognize her (and her picture on the yelp review) and identified the exact number of drinks she consumed – two beers, she did not appear intoxicated to the bartenders although the manager saw her walking in a very awkward manner just prior to the incident.

After the incident the woman returned to retrieve her credit card, and it was at this point that she complained about the overcharge (forgetting one’s card left for a tab at our outside bars is a common occurrence at out patio bars) and she requested a manager contact her. She also called later to speak with a manager and provided a phone number which we did attempt to call several times – no answer – no return call. She then, evidently, wrote the yelp review – which was not true (as noted above). Perhaps she had a situation, perhaps not, but the yelp review was a bit much for the staff after all that had occurred.

Meanwhile, Emma’s friends have taken to the comments of the article to defend her integrity.

Hard to not find this hilarious but it’s SO untrue – My friend Emma is the one who left the Yelp review and is now being accused of being the pooper, and without a doubt the manager/owner have it all wrong. We SAW the girl who actually pooped – she had short brown hair and was wearing a polka dot dress. Emma has long dark hair and was wearing striped pants and was sitting with us the whole time – was drinking ONE fruity cocktail (not two beers as the owner claims) and was with our group the entire time (not with EMTs or refusing to sign forms as the owner claims). The only thing I can think of is that the girl who pooped must have also been named Emma? This whole thing is ridiculous – Nick’s should go ahead and share that CCTV footage they claim to have, as I’m sure the only reason they’re not is because they have the wrong person. They better lawyer up since they started this viral libel about someone! I’m surprised a restaurant would go about it this way knowing how much hot water they can get into for accusing the wrong person of such a gross thing.

YES RELEASE THE FOOTAGE. It’s the only way we will ever know.

Either way, the answer is that everyone here is a loser.

And that someone shat in Nick’s, which doesn’t surprise me one bit.

UPDATE: The City Paper contacted Emma, who denied she was the pooper.

“It was merely a coincidence that I was at the bar the same night as this other girl, who I feel bad for since she is also being publicly dragged through the media,” says Emma, who wished not to publicly disclose her full name, in an email. “I just wanted to clarify that I’m just a dissatisfied customer who is now being accused by this establishment of being someone that I’m not, saying some very nasty things about me and also insulting this other girl who could potentially have serious health issues… It’s ridiculous, irresponsible and extremely upsetting.”

Someone still shit in Nick’s though.

[H/T Daily Dot, Images via Heavy]