“What to we want? HYMENS! How do we want them? INTACT!” — the likely battle cry of the 2,000+ men on this planet who are card carrying members of the “No Hymen, No Diamond” Facebook club.
Their mission is simple, Ladies. They want to marry a virgin for no other reason than…I don’t know, really. It doesn’t seem like the group is standing on some religious soap box, they just don’t think hymen-less women can be trusted. Or at least that is what their Facebook page clearly states.
The page has come under fire because it is utterly ridiculous, but that hasn’t caused the page admins back peddle. In fact, it’s made them double down.
Ladies, if you encounter one of these guys and you plan to fall in love with him or fuck him as a gag, you better have a hymen or something that can act as a hymen on the night he “finger tests” and then takes your “virginity.” What I suggest is that you slide a graham cracker and a packet of ketchup up there. Then, when he orgasms — which will be in mere seconds because he’s so juiced up that he’s fucking a virgin — yell, “Look what you did to my hymen, you animal!” At that point, you should point down to the pool of crushed graham crackers and ketchup on the floor, grab a handful of it, and smear it all over his face and chest. Guaranteed that you will make that weirdo’s day. And you’ll finally get to put those stale graham crackers you’ve been holding onto to good use,