No One Wants To Date Millennials These Days, Especially Not Other Millennials

lonely-single

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When my birthday rolls around in October, it will mark¬†seven years of being single. My girlfriend and I broke up a day after my 25th birthday in 2008 and I’ve been alone ever since.

Sure, I’ve had close calls, good ones and bad ones, but I’ve never gotten so far as to even have anything remotely resembling a “define the relationship” talk.

Meanwhile, I’ve been to about 25 weddings, already seen a few divorces, watched people fall in love and have their hearts broken and fall in love again.

It takes a lot to get accustomed to being perpetually single, but once you achieve it, man, is it fantastic.

But let’s not talk about me. Let’s talk about all you millennials. All of you are single these days. An astounding amount. From Gallup:

Along with the decline in marriages among 18- to 29-year-olds in the U.S. in recent years, Gallup trends on Americans’ living arrangements reveal that the percentage of young adults “living together” has hardly budged. This means that not only are fewer young adults married, but also that fewer are in committed relationships. As a result, the percentage of young adults who report being single and not living with someone has risen dramatically in the past decade, from 52% in 2004 to 64% in 2014.

Sixty four percent! That’s a fuck lot. Is it because you’ve mastered the ability to be single? Ha ha hell no, you are a Millennial. You get lonely and desperate when you are away from your phone for six minutes. You crave attachment and attention and would kill for someone to love you. But you and your ADD-addled SnapChat friends who you Yik Yaked this article to on Yo! will never find love.

At least until you grow up.

Grow up.

As for me, I’m just being a mature single adult. It’s different.

I swear it is.

[H/T Elite Daily]

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