Woman Tries To Quiet Noisy Kids Next Door By Doing Something Even Serial Killers Wouldn’t Do

Look, I get it, kids can be noisy and little brats and overall just awful to be around but it’s ill-advised to threaten to eat them. Even if they’re your own kids. You definitely shouldn’t threaten to eat the children of a stranger. That will get you knocked out, or at the very least, put in jail.

A 38-year-old Minnesota woman was tired of the neighbor kids, so she sent the family anonymous threats saying that she wanted to taste and lick their children. All this because they were noisy and left stuff on her porch. Carrie Pernula was arrested and now faces possible charges of gross misdemeanor terroristic threats and stalking.

Check out the letter above that Pernula sent to her neighbors. Serial killers and cannibals wouldn’t even do that shit. It’s like rule number one of cannibalism — “don’t tell people you’re going to eat them. It will scare them off.”

And in case that wasn’t not enough, the loon went a step further. Pernula pretended to be a cannibal and a stalker and paid for magazine subscriptions to be sent to the house under the name “tasty children.” Isn’t the magazine partly to blame though? I mean “Tasty Children” didn’t raise any red flags at Everyday With Rachel Ray or Penthouse magazine? “Eh, whatever, they’re paying for the subscription, we’ll call them whatever they want.”

So far, no charges have been pressed against Pernula.

[via Some eCards]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.