North Korea Wants To Bomb South Korea’s Christmas Tree

Fighting with your relatives is just one of those time-honored traditions, which, frustrating as it might be, if it didn’t occur, wouldn’t make the holidays the holidays.

North and South Korea, despite living in relative proximity to one another, have been estranged for over 66 years.

Some might think that this Christmas would be the perfect time for the two to put aside their differences and make peace.

Or they could, like a homeowner pissed at the over-the-top gaudiness of his neighbor’s rooftop Santa sleigh, threaten to blow the other into oblivion.

Which tact do you think the countries took?

North Korea is apparently upset about a 30-foot tall tree that the South Korean defense ministry green lit. It can be seen from North Korea, which should be noted ain’t into all that Jesus-preachy shit, even though there’s nothing in the Bible that specifically bans enslaving your own people.

And the DPRK ain’t too happy about having to look at a glowing tree shoving Christmas in their face. They said, according to the Wall Street Journal, the tree “is not just a means for religious events but a symbol of madcap confrontation racket for escalating tensions.”

To calm down the “madcap confrontation racket for escalating tensions,” North Korea has threatened to fire artillery at it. That’ll smooth things right over.

Regardless, sounds like it’ll be a great Christmas in Korea. Regional geopolitics always get a little dicey around the holidays. It’s a bitch.