North Korea Has Developed A Super-Strength Dick Pill And Wants To Sell It To Us, Seems Legit

I can only speak for myself, but I’d prefer to buy my dick pills from a supplier that isn’t a murderous despotic regime. Just preference. Something tells me the dude who shot his defense chief with a gun used to take down airplanes simply because he fell asleep in a meeting would probably be a nightmare to exchange goods and services with. Again, just an educated guess.

But that’s not to say that this alleged super-strength dick and wellness pill doesn’t peak my interest.

According to Mirror UK, the secretive Stalinist state has developed a pill claiming to increase strength, brainpower, and make your kielbasa harder than dynamite. The pill, manufactured in North Korea’s capital, Pyongyang, is also said to reduced fatigue, build muscle, provide essential nutrients, as well as “enhance the sexual function of the elderly.” Oh, and it also claims to help you sleep and banish car sickness #overpromise.

I guess the whole “build muscle” thing takes a few weeks…


Getty Image / STR/AFP/Getty Images

North Korea hopes to sell the wonder-pill to the West in an attempt to regain financial stability and balance their books.

Listen, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t need a dick pill that doubles as an adderall. That shit sounds like it was made for me. My attention span is about as long as OH LOOK A BUTTERFLY! and if I have more than four or five drinks (so any day that ends in ‘y’), I need to perform CPR on my Johnson just to get some blood flow. Granted, I’m usually the only witness to this, but one day a real live girl is going to be present and its going to ruin me psychologically. So as hesitant as I am to pop a pill that’s probably just capsuled cyanide, the upside of becoming a sex god immune to car sickness (?) may be worth the risk.

What do you bros think? Would you risk it? Let us know in the comments and maybe we can swindle a free-trial order. If I know North Korea like I think I know North Korea, they’ll happily comply, no questions asked. Or they’ll fucking kill me in front of my family. Toss up.

[H/T Mirror]

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