A major downside to doing drugs recreationally is how paranoid it makes you. One minute you’re having a few tokes with the boys, the next minute you’re pretty sure the walls are talking shit about behind your back. You go from Dazed and Confused Matthew McConaughey to True Detective Matthew McConaughey so fast that you kind of forget why you wanted to get there in the first place. The good thing about drugs, though, is that they eventually wear off. Unless you take too many at once or take it too often. Then you’ll always think the fire hydrant is telling the sidewalk how fat you’ve gotten. Or, like this dude from Oakland, that Google was keeping tabs on him with their street car.
“Raul Diaz, 30, of Oakland, California, was arrested outside Google offices in Bayshore Parkway on 30 June. Guns and a device which bomb squad officers identified as a half-finished pipe bomb were found in his car, according to a criminal complaint filed by the state.
Diaz’s arrest came after a series of attacks on Google cars, starting in mid May, when molotov cocktails were thrown at a parked Street View car in Mountain View. The car failed to catch fire, as the bottles only shattered when they hit the ground. A suspect was seen fleeing to a dark SUV on CCTV footage. One month later, police were called after shots were fired at a Google building. A car was again caught on CCTV, apparently the same model as the earlier attempted arson attack. Six days after that, another Google car – described by the affidavit as a “self-driving car”, something Google later denied – was found engulfed in flames. Video footage showed a man nearby holding a makeshift water-pistol, believed by police to contain flammable liquid used to start the fire. The police say Diaz, who was arrested three weeks after the second fire in a traffic stop, drives a car similar to that seen on the footage, and the arresting officer “recognised Diaz to be the possible suspect”. Shortly after his arrest, Diaz “shared information about previous events unrelated to the traffic stop [and] mentioned Google, Facebook and Larry Page [the chief executive of Alphabet, Google’s parent company]”.
The affidavit continues: “Diaz told officers that his motivation behind the attacks was that he felt Google was watching him and that made him upset. Diaz said that he kept journals of the times that he felt Google had been watching him.””
Ok, so, kind of using the “if you smelt it, you dealt it” logic here, but if a random car whose job it is to just drive around on roads seems to be keeping tabs on you, it’s probably because you have something that you’re hiding. Like an arsenal that included an unfinished pipe bomb in your car. Clearly this guy hasn’t not done drugs in quite a few weeks. As in an uncountable amount of them. While it was never said outright, I think this guy was spurned by Google at some point in his life. Maybe he had a girlfriend but then she went onto his Chrome account and saw all Craigslist browsing he did looking for company from exotic women. Sure, it’s his own fault for not using an Incognito Tab, but also, drugs make you project your own faults onto others. So don’t do drugs, bros. Or, not too many.