This Plastic Surgery-Obsessed Man Claims He Is The New ‘Human Ken Doll’ And YOU GUESSED IT He Looks Like Crap

by 4 years ago


As far as plastic surgery-obsessed people Mauricio Galdi doesn’t look as bad as he could. Yeah his face is giving me irritable bowel syndrome and never in a million years can I even fathom that someone would be willing to sleep with him with how he currently looks, but that’s just me. Some chicks like plastic blowup dolls, in which case Mauricio is those chicks’ moist dreams. As for everybody else on this planet…well, I hope he doesn’t get offended if people stare and children cry when he’s out and about in public. With a face like that I don’t know what else you’d expect.

According to Daily Mail, Mauricio found out he was ugly when, at 17 years old, he enrolled in an acting class. Unfortunately that’s as much detail as we get; I don’t know what happened in said acting class. Maybe they were doing scenes from The Hunchback of Notre Dame and they made him play Quasimodo, or maybe they always just cast him as a silent patch of dirt for everyone to step on. I got 0 answers for ya, but something happened that made Mauricio take a step back and say to himself “Damn…I look like butthole.” 


A photo posted by Maurício Galdi (@mauricio_galdi) on Jun 13, 2015 at 6:55am PDT

// what do we do when we look like butthole? We go home and cry about it, and if we have money we go and get a lot of filler n’ shit injected into our faces. Hooray!

To remedy that, he went under the knife, starting with a nose job and eventually having injections of polymethylmethacrylate, a filler.(via)

While Mauricio says that he didn’t give himself the Human Ken Doll title and that it’s something the media came up with instead, he clearly is doing a bang-up job of cashing in on the name. The dude’s already got 21,000 Instagram followers who are seemingly masochists who enjoy staring at whatever horror you’d like to define THIS as:


A photo posted by Maurício Galdi (@mauricio_galdi) on May 18, 2015 at 3:19pm PDT


Like…dude. Do less with the smooth brush in Photoshop and take fewer selfies, no one should be able to say with a straight face “I have just as many selfies as Kim Kardashian on my Instagram.” That shit ain’t something to brag about.

[H/T Daily Mail]

TAGSPlastic surgery