Oxford Dictionary Says Portmanbros Are In

It's going to be awesome. It's about nine dudes living in New York City in 2013, struggling with culturally significant issues of the day. They'll discuss, in song form, troubles such as: iOS7 draining their battery, the proper inseam length for chino shorts; Instagram filters; and whether to text or email a girl after finding out you have chlymadia (Spoiler: she has chlymadia, too!). I expect it to open on Broadway in summer 2015. 

For all the musical numbers, I'm taking songs from Jonathon Larson's original work and adapting them to Bro life. There is “You'll See Bros,”The Tango: Bro-reen,” “What You Bro-own” and of course, the finale “Seasons of Bro.”

While I thought the whole effort was a bit ridiculous, I feel validated in my work today. That's because the Oxford Fucking Dictionary declared today in a blog post that portmanteaus involving the word Bro are… wait for it… OFFICIALLY IN.

Fuck yea. 

The post is titled 'The Rise of Portmantbros,' (which is brilliant) and talks about the rapid growth of all aspects of life being Bro-ified. (My play is not discussed. That's okay. It's flying under the radar, which is how I like it.) 

With its instantly recognizable consonant cluster, bro lends itself not only to compounding … but also to blending, that favorite technique of humorous neologists, who have coined such portmanteaux as bro-down (from hoedown), bromance (from romance), and brohemian (from bohemian).

They stole Brohemian from me. Outside of my work, no Bro has ever self-identified as Bohemian. Maybe they used it to refer to drinking Natural Bohemians. Maybe. But in that instance they would be from Baltimore and no one cares about the guy who says “Let's put back some Natty Bros before the O's game.” 

Then half my brain exploded when I hit this sentence. 

Ulltimately… the neologistical fecundity of bro is probably due to a serendipitous combination of form and function.

What the shit, Oxford? I've heard Sizzurp-fueled Lil' Wayne rants that are easier to decipher. Let's try that sentence plugging in Oxford's own definitions of those stupid fucking words. Also you spell “Ulltimately” real bad, Oxford. 

In the end, the newly coined word's ability to producing an abundance of new growth is probably due to a beneficial opportunity of form and function.

Guh? I think they mean that there are a lot of bros and there are a lot of words in the English language that can be portmanbro'ed. Right. That's why I'm writing a whole fucking play around it. It's gonna be great. Channing Tatum plays Roger. 

[H/T @andykmoore]