Meet 24-year-old Hungarian born Szilveszter who now lives in the United Kingdom (Guess there are no first names in Hungary?). This gentleman knows that Vaseline has so many beneficial uses and can enhance his life in so many ways. The miracle product soothes dry skin, lubricates skateboard and roller skate wheels, remedies chapped lips, helps remove chewing gum from hair, keeps shower curtains sliding with ease, seals split ends, prevents diaper rash, removes stains from clothes and wood furniture, fantastic polish your shoes, revives dried leather, great lubricant for butt sex, prevents rust on outdoor metals and you can even apply it to the cut edges of jack-o-lanterns to slow the rotting process.
Despite all of the marvelous benefits of Vaseline, Szilveszter took the versatility of the product far beyond it’s noble capabilities. He injected petroleum jelly directly into his dick in the brilliant idea that it would enhance the size of his tallywhacker. Does anywhere on my thorough list mention anything about it being a cock enlarger? No. You done fucked up Szilveszter.
The story gets even more bizarre. Szilveszter is already married and a father. Why the fuck are you jeopardizing your life to increase the size of your rod for a woman that has already committed her life to you and your baby dick? If he was a bachelor and his microdick was prohibiting him from getting snatch, I can sort of justify his need to pump petroleum jelly into his dick. But to risk everything for your wife who already knows you have tiny cock is beyond me.
He injected petroleum jelly into his twig to make it larger, which sort of worked. His willie got larger, but nine months later his jelly dick was so swollen and inflamed that he was in constant pain and was unable to have sex with his wife. Not sure if the petroleum jelly was the cause of the lack of sex with his wife.
He explains his extreme agony on the TLC show Extreme Beauty Disasters. “Every day is difficult for me as it’s very painful and bleeding,” he pleaded. “This was the worst mistake in my life as I don’t feel like a real man.” He said he performed the procedure based solely on a friend’s recommendation, and I’m going to bet the farm that the friend is not a board certified medical practitioner.
Szilveszter turned to help from Extreme Beauty Disasters resident plastic surgeon Dr Vik Vijh. After examining the man the doctor said, “It’s not a pretty slight, it’s inflamed, it’s sore, it’s misshapen, his penis is a disaster.” Well nothing cures a man with low self-esteem about his meat stick quite like someone calling it a “disaster.” Dr. Vijh continued his verbal bouquets, “I have been doing plastic surgery now for 20 years and I have never seen anything like this. Injecting petroleum jelly into the penis makes no sense on any level.”
Dr Vijh explained that Szilveszter’s one-eyed weasel had “formed scar tissue around the Vaseline because it’s a foreign body,” and his body was trying to ward it off, which results in painful lumps that will soon start to ulcer through the skin. Ribbed, for her pleasure.
Szilveszter got a big head about the situation, “The other problem is the foreskin is swelling and splitting – the foreskin is 15 times more swollen than should be,” said the doctor.
It somehow gets worse.
Dr. Vijh said the only treatment would be to “skin” the penis to get rid of the Vaseline and scar tissue.
It somehow gets worse.
Dr Vijh said:
“I have never done this before but fingers crossed we can save his penis.”
You never want to hear the words “fingers crossed” about a penis surgery, especially when it comes to YOUR penis surgery.
Thankfully after hours of surgery, the operation was a success and the good doctor saved the man’s wang. He’s even banging his wife again. Way to go Szilveszter!
You can check out video footage of this happy story on Extreme Beauty Disasters which airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on TLC.