A Polar Vortex Is About to Kill Everyone in America

Prepare to die. Because you are going to die tomorrow. 

Unless you stay inside. If you stay inside, you'll be fine. If you go outside, life as you know it is over. From the Capital Weather Gang

For days, it’s appeared on computer model maps in the form of deep blue and purple shades. Now it’s about to get real and up close and personal. Some of the coldest air in years, if not decades, is poised to pour into the U.S., with mind-boggling low temperatures.

Basically a large whirlpool in the atmosphere originating at the north pole – in geek speak known as the polar vortex – is diving into the Lower 48.

And it's about to set records all over the country. The wind chill in Montana tonight is going to be negative 60. Minnesota? NEGATIVE 70. Those are real, not just hyperbolic internet speak. Over here on the East Coast, where I am, every major city is expected to be in the single digits on Tuesday. 

Especially if snow cover lingers (or is replenished by the arctic front Monday), it’s possible all of the I-95 cities from D.C. to New York City drop below zero for the first time in nearly 20 years. 

So… wear a jacket. Or skip work. Send them this as a note. Because fuck nature. 

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[Image via Capital Weather Gang]