New Poll Indicates That Weed May Be The Next President Of The United States
Being too stoned is the historically the reason why I don’t vote. Now, pot may be driving me to the polls, 12 mph below the speed limit.
According to a Quinnipiac University poll conducted in March, weed legalization is more popular than any potential candidate in three swing states.
More than 80% of residents in Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania support the medical marijuana initiative and more than half in all three states support the legalization of small amounts of marijuana for personal use, according to the survey.
I know this doesn’t mean much coming from Florida, who was definitely drunk when it was polled, or on Flakka. But even the drunk uncle has a say in Easter dinner.
I’m a bit confused by what is meant by “small amounts of marijuana for personal use.” “Small amounts” for some of my friends means they use recreationally, when available. “Small amounts” for me means that at one point during any given day I was not high. Just one moment. Details on the definition are a bit foggy here, at least for the stoned kid.
Regardless, I take solace in the fact that recreational weed is polling a smidge better than Hilary Clinton in all three states, and there isn’t a Republican within earshot of the Loud. For example, in Ohio recreational weed outpolls Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio by almost two-to-one.
You’re probably thinking to yourself: this dude must be missing a chromosome thinking that marijuana can be president because candidates are people and weed is simply a bush.
Oh, a Bush? Like our last president? Are you too sober to recognize the warning signs, bro? Come on, take another rip of this Presidential shit. You’re not thinking straight.
But I wouldn’t peg Weed as the shoe-in for 2016 Leader of the Free World quite yet. If I know Weed like I think I know Weed, it will get too stoned to show up to the debate and will be locked in my basement watching Pixar movies.
***If you’re looking to dip your paws in the shifting political landscape, we’re giving away three Firefly vaporizers leading up to 4/20. Why, because BroBible is for the people.***
[H/T The Washington Post]