New Drug Sweeping Florida Called ‘Flakka’ Will Turn You Into Superman–Like You’ll Jump Off A Building

Introducing Flakka: the new designer drug flooding the streets of Florida that has already led to a dude impaling himself with a fence, a man trying to kick down the door of a police station, and a guy shouting butt naked from a rooftop.

And I’m intrigued.

Flakka is made from the chemical alpha-PVP, the same class of chemical used to produce bath salts. The drug can be injected, snorted, smoked, or swallowed. It causes people to act erratically and potentially dangerously.

Lt. Dan Zsido of the Pinella’s County Sheriff’s Office:

“On a scale of 1-10, Flakka is a 12.”

Sounds a lot like an advertisement to me.

Jim Hall, an epidemiologist at the Center for Applied Research on Substance Use and Health Disparities told CBS,

“We’re starting to see a rash of cases of a syndrome referred to as excited delirium. This is where the body goes into hyperthermia, generally a temperature of 105 degrees. The individual becomes psychotic, they often rip off their clothes and run out into the street violently and have an adrenaline-like strength and police are called and it takes four or five officers to restrain them. Then once they are restrained, if they don’t receive immediate medical attention they can die.”

Cops have no idea where it’s coming from or who’s producing it, which sucks because I’d like to know that information as well.

I live by the motto “Try Everything Once.” Which most of the time turns into “Try Everything Once, And Then Do It Until Your Friends Sit You Down And Tell You It’s Becoming A Problem.” But “Try Everything Once” sounds cleaner.

But even I have a threshold. I never thought I’d say this, but even I have standards. And I’m not sure I’d want to subject my already deteriorating body to something that’s going to make me strip down and fuck a fence.

Unless all my boys were doing it, then fuck it, let’s see what happens.

[H/T Time]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.