One Thing To Not Do When Pregnant Is Stick 89 Bags Of Heroin In Your Vagina, Like This Lady Did

Daily Mail

The list of do’s and don’ts during a pregnancy is downright absurd. There’s an entire industry dedicated to telling women that eating tuna may or may give their babies neonatal mercury poisoning, that caffeine will cause a fetus’s heart to stop and then there’s the endless debate about the efficacy and morality of having one glass of wine during the third trimester.

It’s downright bananas, and it makes you wonder how people even had children before the advent of self-help books and internet forums. Probably pretty easily, but with a lot more fetal alcohol syndrome.

But, regardless of any debate, I think we all can agree that if you are pregnant with child, you should one, not do heroin and two, not stick a metric ton of it inside your hoohah.

That’s just what Marina McCarthy of Gouldsboro, Pennsylvania did. Her and her boyfriend, Dakota Dunning, were pulled over for having improperly displayed temporary licence plates. The cop, unfortunately for them, noticed they kinda looked like heroin addicts.

Captain Jonathan Miller told the North Jersey Record that troopers got increasingly suspicious that there were drugs on the scene as they spotted ‘fresh needle track marks’ on Dunning.

A K-9 dog also detected an illegal substance, according to the report.

Dunning and McCarthy were arrested and taken to Glen Rock Police Department in New Jersey for further questioning.

Police found nothing though and Dunning and McCarthy almost, almost made a clean escape. Almost.

It was only when a detective reviewed CCTV footage from earlier in the day that they allegedly spotted McCarthy stuffing packages down her pants.

She had been handcuffed in the front of her body, because of her pregnancy, so she was able to access the zipper area of her pants.

A female police officer was purportedly sent to guard McCarthy while she retrieved the bags of heroin from her body in the bathroom.

A witness told Daily Mail Online the packages of powder had been tightly packed together and collectively, were no bigger than a piece of Laffy Taffy candy.

That is one oddly specific unit of measurement. The report actually only says “body cavity,” but I’m assuming vajay. What else could it be? She couldn’t reach her butt in that position.

McCarthy was released on her own recognizance, which seems insane, given.

Her baby is due in three months.