President Obama Wants You Damn Kids To Stop Caring So Damn Much About Legalizing Marijuana

Last week President Obama sat down with VICE founder Shane Smith for an 18-minute interview about a bevy of topics near and dear to the news organizations heart: foreign policy, global warming, the state of getting anything accomplished in Washington D.C. The video was released on Monday afternoon. At the very end of the nearly 20-minute interview, Smith brought up the topic of marijuana legalization, a subject millennials are very passionate about in the voting booth. So what did the President — who most definitely inhaled back in the day — say on the subject?

“First of all, it shouldn’t be young people’s biggest priority.”

“Young people: I understand this is important to you, but as you be thinking about climate change, the economy and jobs, war and peace, maybe way at the bottom you should be thinking about marijuana.”

You hear that, kids? The Leader Of The Free World wants you damn stoners to stop caring so damn much about marijuana. You’re CARING TOO MUCH. Isn’t caring the polar opposite of what marijuana is supposed to do to your brain?

Psssh. You used to be fun, dad.

Watch in the video below, starting at around the 15:00 mark:

Just because Obama sounds like a lame dad and not a former member of Hawaii’s dopest group of Maui Wowie tokers doesn’t mean he doesn’t support decriminalization:

“I’d separate out the issue of criminalization of marijuana from encouraging its use. I think there’s no doubt that our criminal justice system, generally, is so heavily skewed towards cracking down on non-violent drug offenders that it has not just had a terrible effect on many communities — particularly communities of color — rendering a lot of folks unemployable because they got felony records, disproportionate prison sentences. It costs a huge amount of money to states and a lot of states are figuring that out.

“But what I’m encouraged by is you’re starting to see not just liberal Democrats, but also some very conservative Republicans recognize this doesn’t make sense — including the libertarian wing of the Republican Party.”

He added:

“We may actually be able to make some progress on the decriminalization side. At a certain point, if enough states end up decriminalizing, the Congress may then reschedule marijuana.”

I don’t think anyone would argue that rescheduling from I to II is a bad thing. But damn it, Colorado and Washington and everywhere else marijuana has been legalized… don’t screw this up for the rest of us by abusing the damn plant:

“I think there is a legitimate concern about the overall effects this has on society, particularly vulnerable parts of our society,” Obama said. “Substance abuse generally, legal and illegal substances, is a problem. Locking somebody up for 20 years is probably not the best strategy, and that is something we have to rethink as a society as a whole.”

Word, dad.

Brandon Wenerd avatar
BroBible's publisher and a founding partner, circa 2009. Brandon is based in Los Angeles, where he oversees BroBible's partnership team and other business development activities. He still loves to write and create content, including subjects related to internet culture, food, live music, Phish, the Grateful Dead, Philly sports, and adventures of all kinds. Email: