Man Punches Out Roommate For Taking Too Long Of A Dump

It’s not easy living with another person. Especially if the other person is also a man. If a hot female roommate is a pain in the ass to live with, the chance of sex always keeps the annoyance level down. Living with another bro eliminates that (unless you’re both gay) so the anger just builds and builds until one night BOOM! You knock him out for taking a long dump.

The Jersey Journal reports that the 32-year-old Jersey City man, whose name hasn’t been released, got into the confrontation with his 32-year-old roommate around 2 a.m. Friday morning. According to the victim, who was already occupying the toilet, the suspect yelled, “Get out, I want to use the bathroom.”

When he didn’t immediately comply, the suspect “barged into the bathroom, punched him roommate, and then flung him into a glass mirror that shattered and cut the roommate’s neck.”

Now in the pooper’s defense, Friday morning after a Thanksgiving day of drinking and eating and eating and eating, well, it’s acceptable to take slightly longer on the throne. There was really no need to go apeshit over a human shit. HOWEVER, waiting to use the bathroom after a day of drinking and eating and eating and eating…

It’s no wonder he punched the roomie in the face. When nature calls, she sometimes calls angrily.

[via Gothamist]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.