To my knowledge, I have never been cheated on. And to my knowledge, I have never cheated either (I drink a lot. I forget a lot.) And I’m a weak-willed horny fuck who would say ‘yes’ to huffing kitchen cleaner if you made a strong case for it. But the mere thought of some other dude jackhammering my girlfriend is the only deterrent I need to steer clear of doing the jackhammering myself. Believe it or not, I have compassion for others. Lol.
Granted, I am approaching 30 years of age and I’m still single largely due to the fact that I just can’t stop waving my freak flag. I never fly it at half-mast, only full fucking throttle. Variety is the spice of life and buffet’s are my shit. I can eat anything I want without anyone reminding me that I have a gluten allergy or I’m getting fat. In many ways, it’s liberating.
But I have friends who are genuinely better people than I am who have cheated. Some of them multiple times. I never understood how they could live with the guilt. How they can still take their relationship seriously and how it doesn’t feel cheapened or diluted. Well, science is here to clear the air on why good people do shitty things.
She gon’ fuck her personal trainer or Chad from Accounting. Sad truths, bros.