ORIGINAL STORY: Did you ever live in a house where you SWORE someone else was living or hanging out? Not like a ghost, but, like when you were at work or out at night, someone was moving all your stuff, touching all your stuff and taking hot dumps in your bathroom? You were right, it was me, and I’m just between places right now.
At least I wasn’t a mad scientist cooking up LSD!
A couple from Cottage Grove, Minnesota called the cops because they heard a man yelling obscenities in their basement. The cops arrived to check it out, and also heard the screams, but couldn’t find the source. That’s when they moved some furniture and found former homeowner Dr. Winston Corrigan, years worth of rations and a shitload of drugs.
When the Officers moved the large metal cabinet they uncovered an entry way to a large hidden room in the basement. The room was full of various science equipment along with a terrified, elderly man. The 83 year old man was identified as Dr. Winston Corrigan, a chemistry professor from the University of Minnesota who went missing in the fall of 1984 and was a previous resident of the home.
“He had clearly been living down there for a long time and had suffered severe psychological trauma.. probably from not socializing with anyone for a while…or from ingesting a lot of the drugs… I don’t know if he had been living down there since the 80’s but I wouldn’t doubt it” Said EMT personnel Landon Choler.
The police recovered over $500,000 worth of lab equipment stolen from the University, along with 3 hand guns, an assault rifle, 50 years’ worth of military grade rations and twelve 55 gallon barrels (including three almost empty barrels) of what DEA labs have identified as pure liquid Lysergic acid diethylamide, a powerful hallucinogenic drug more commonly known as the street name LSD or Acid.
“I just can’t believe it….it’s just so odd,” said a neighbor who’s lived next door for 33 years. The family that used to live there moved because they said the house was haunted so I guess that makes sense now.”
He probably dropped some insane acid with the ghost and the apparition probably got the fuck out of dodge out of fear.
Imagine being stuck in a basement for 30 years, talking to no one but the rats and your own reflection, and ingesting three empty barrels of LSD. It’s like the start of Hunter S. Thompson’s wettest dream ever.
UPDATED: The story is bullshit. But not the part about me living in your house when you’re out.