Let’s face it, everyone’s life is ruled by technology now. It’s been going this way for a while, but we’ve reached the point in the last few years where we literally rely on tech 24/7. If you don’t believe me, just shut off your phone for an hour and then wait for the shakes and sweats to start.
The irony is that while technology is supposed to make our lives easier, it really just gives us a whole new host of things to worry about, especially since everyone else is relying on that same tech. You’ve gotta keep up with the Joneses after all.
But, the savvy always manage to stay a step ahead of the rest of the rabble, and one way they do that is by finding little tips and tricks that allow them to do things faster and more efficiently. I mean, isn’t that the whole point of technology?
It is with that in mind that we bring you these nine simple tech hacks that will make your life easier. The cool thing about them is that they are all legal too, which is important because then you can’t sue us and lawyers won’t have me castrated. We’re not talking actual hacking. That would be wrong. Ahem. Look, I just want to help you, okay?
Have an iPhone but still want to get the Android experience? Well, now you can, thanks to Bluestacks, a downloadable program that lets you run Android apps, including games, right off your computer. And yes, if you’re thinking ahead, that means that you can manage your Snapchat and Instagram accounts or whatever straight from a PC. Why deny yourself a full tech experience just because everyone else is busy fighting over which shitty little phone is the best? And why confine that experience to a goddamn phone? We should be making it easier for people to access their programs, their apps, their games, not harder.
Use Airplane Mode When Playing Games On Your Phone
You’re playing a game on your phone when advertisers decide you’re having too much fun and hijack the shit out of it, making you stare at whatever annoying ad some dipshit version of Don Draper thought would sell you crap you don’t want or need. Sucks, right? Well, did you know you can get rid of those ads – all the ads – if you just turn your phone to airplane mode? This will sever the internet connection and allow you to play like its 1896 all over again. You know, if you still had a smart phone and games in 1896. And the power to play them. Or airplanes, I guess. Or… look, you get the point. Leave me alone.
Use Airplane Mode To Get Better Cell Service
Wait… what? I mean, airplane mode will kill your service. But that’s just the first step to getting better service. That’s because when you switch your phone back on, it will immediately look for the closest cell-tower, which should make your service instantly better. It’s sort of the smartphone version of resetting your router. In a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to do either. But as we all know, this isn’t a perfect world, and shitty cell service is arguably the worst thing about our imperfect world. Children in Somalia weep for their spotty coverage. Babies in Bangladesh wonder why their mothers are stuck using 3G speeds. But now they will suffer no more thanks to this precious life-saving tech hack.
Get High Quality Version Of Instagram Pics
Look, we all love Instagram. How else would you see what your neighbor’s dinner looks like, or how far that model can get her thong up her ass? Of course, one of those may be of slightly more importance to you. Again, no judgments.
The problem with Instagram is that, well, the pictures generally look like shit. But did you know that Instagram also stores the original high-quality versions of those shitty pics? Or that you, the average degenerate, can download them?
There are a couple of ways to do this, but if you’re on your PC, here’s a pretty simple tried and true way: just hit “Ctrl+u” which will bring up the page’s source code. Then hit “Ctrl+f” which will bring up a search box. Search “jpg” and then highlight the first thing that comes up, right click on it, select “open in new tab” and… bam, you’ve got yourself a HQ version of that shitty Instagram pic.
No, this isn’t some weird fetish website. Fatfingers is actually a site that looks for misspelled versions of popular eBay auctions. Say you want to buy a Samsung phone from eBay, but don’t want to get into a bidding war. Fatfingers will find a listing for, say, a Samsung phone, which wouldn’t show up on a normal search for Samsung, which means that you can probably swoop in and get it dirt cheap, all because some poor idiot can’t spell.
Use a Temporary Credit Card Number When Signing Up For Free Trials
You used to just be able to use a pre-paid gift card to sign up for free trials, thus avoiding being condemned to perpetual monthly charges for all eternity because it turns out that canceling your account is often a process that would make even Einstein weep with despair.
But, sadly, most sites are wise to this trick now. However, many credit card companies offer a service that allows you to log on to your account and create a temporary number that will auto-expire after a set amount of time, like say just long enough to cover a free trial. Now, you won’t have to worry about that diaper fetish website showing up on your statement every month until you’re 90 years old, which ironically is about the time when you’ll actually need diapers. It probably won’t be sexy, though. Unless that’s what you’re into, I guess. Hey, no judgments.
Use Refined Google Search Terms To Refine Your Studying
If you’ve got a huge midterm coming up, try this: search “site: edu [subject] exam” and just replace [subject] with whatever you’re studying for, like Biology or History or Millennial EDM Feminist Twerk Studies or whatever you goddamn kids study these days. A whole host of study guides, old exams and other invaluable resources will pop right up. For instance, I tried “site: edu biology exam” and the first link was an open course biology exam prep from MIT. I’m pretty sure that will help you.
Use Google To Make Sure Your Computer Doesn’t Get A Deadly Virus
Look, I know what you really care about here. You want to be able to porn it up without giving your computer an e-STD. One simple way to do this is to Google search: “safebrowsing: [website]” which will bring up a whole host of resources which will let you know the reputation and malware history of whatever seedy site you want to go to. So, if you’re really still committed to that diaper fetish thing (remember, no judgments) you’d Google “safebrowsing: fullgrandpadiapers.com” and go from there.
Also, just a quick disclaimer: I have no idea if that’s an actual site and I don’t want to be responsible if it is and one of you fucking weirdos actually goes searching for full diapers and ends up having to be institutionalized, because there’s not a hack – tech, life, or otherwise – that will help you deal with that one.
But, if you do feel the need to, uh, explore, at least do so safely. Safe computer sex is a matter of public health, and I’m honored to be able to help. Remember: the computer you save might just be your own, and that’s why tech hacks matter. You’re welcome.