This monumentally catastrophic story comes to us by way of ‘TIFU’ on Reddit, the popular subreddit where users tell their most embarrassing stories. Here we’ve got a guy who thought he’d try his hand at sexting using Snapchat, only he wasn’t too familiar with using Snapchat, and his phone wasn’t really up to the task.
I don’t want to give away too much of this story before you read it, but know this: NEVER trust a waterproof case on your phone when sexting.
TIFU by sexting a girl I used to go out with
Context: It was a lonely Wednesday night, when I suddenly got a text message from a girl we’ll call Andrea. “Hey” it read. “What you up to?”. Andrea was a beautiful Texan girl I met last summer while working for Disney World in Orlando, Florida. We dated for a month before I returned back to Canada and she left back to Texas. With my current non-existent sex life here, I decided to text Andrea something unusual and see how she responds to it. “Not much, just lying in bed wondering, if you were here what would we be up to”. And thus began our cyber trip to Sexyland. There was a certain thrill to it. Connecting with someone in such a way with words is a different kind of sexy. After a dozen hot texts of what we would do to each other, we decided to take things to the next level, AKA SnapChat.
The FU: “I want to see you cum” the caption read with a snap picture of two beautiful breasts. With my phone protected with a waterproof case, I was now under the shower ready to make my last snap, cum. I lowered my phone to magic lamp level, brining my front camera basically, head to head. I pressed down on the grey circle as I began rubbing my lamp until the whole circle turned red. A few spits of white genies came bursting out at my screen, with the last one hitting, where the original circle was. Only now instead of the circle, a small square with a + sign appeared and gets selected. For those of you who are not familiar with SnapChat, this indicates that now, my magic lamp was on “My Story” for all my contacts to see. But wait its not over yet. I frantically press delete on the uploading post, except now my internet connection lags, I drop my phone into the tub, and my screen flashes into the colours of a rainbow. My screen broke eternally; some water must have seeped through. “My Story” survived a whole hour, gathering 23 unimpressed views until I managed to login from another phone and delete the scandalous post.
TL;DR I posted a video of myself ejaculating on SnapChat and broke my phone.
With each passing sentence I just wanted to go back in time and stop this poor guy from committing one of the most monumentally embarrassing blunders I’ve ever read. But at the same time, without this story my life wouldn’t be enriched by the knowledge that it happened, but not to me.
And while I feel for this man’s embarrassing spin with technology, it just reaffirms my belief that you can never put too much faith in a waterproof phone case.
Sadly, upon the masses reading this TIFU story it seems that the ‘message vs. my story’ complication is something other Snapchat users are all too familiar with. Here one commenter regales us all with the tale of how she sent her cousin naked pics on accident:
Let’s be friends. I feel your pain. I’m sending snaps of myself with a dude. I posted a sexy mirror shot of me bending over in the mirror. HOT!
So he sends his cum pic all is well, I’m going to sleep and I get a text from my cousin. “You’re beautiful, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, but that is the last thing I ever needed to see. Ever. I’m going to take a cold shower.”
We haven’t spoken since. I still don’t know how to delete it. It’s on my story somewhere. I’m having a fight with snap chat so we aren’t taking. I’m not talking to anyone. No one understands. You understand though, don’t you, OP? You understand.
The tl;dr message here is this: don’t try and use Snapchat (or any other app) for sexting unless you’re familiar with the technology.
Tip of the hat to reader Scott DM S. for sending this story along my way.