MANGPOR2004 — Shutterstock
You aren’t that stupid now, are you?
God, I hope not. But Starbucks thinks you are, and they think you want to show your mother just how dumb you are.
“Happy Mother’s Day! Look mom! I don’t know the value of a dollar! Everything you ever taught me went for shit!”
That has to be the case. Why else would they be selling a “Starbucks premium gift card,” which cost $200 and comes pre-loaded with not $200 worth of Starbucks. No, it only comes with $50 on it.
From the Starbucks website, which has maybe been reading a little too much Goop lately.
Offered for the first time ever, this Mother’s Day Starbucks Card makes an elegant gift with its laser-etched floral details and satin ceramic finish. It comes pre-loaded with $50 on the Card and packaged in a beautiful gift box with matching design.
Yea. That means that’s a $150 card. The card costs $150. It costs $150. It costs $150.
Here, look at it, does it look like something mum would want? (Trick question: No. You mom will slap you for being so stupid.)
Wow. That is … That is maybe worth $10.