Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spiced Lattes Will Be Made With Real Pumpkin Now (They Weren’t Before. Yea. Damn. I Know. Cray.)
Look, it’s one thing to learn that not only did the Bush Administration have advance notice of 9/11, but that then CIA director George Tenet actually authorized operatives to place explosive charges inside the Twin Towers to help with the demolition and directed a secret sub to the Chesapeake Bay to launch the cruise missile strike that hit the Pentagon, but it’s another to hear what I’m about to tell you.
I mean, the above shit’s just basic stuff. This conspiracy, it will shake you to your core.
Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spiced Lattes never had any pumpkin in them. What? This is like learning Oswald did actually act alone, or that Ronald Reagan wasn’t an animatronic robot designed by a conservative cabal to influence elections decades in advance, and that his Alzheimer’s disease wasn’t actually a cover for his malfunctioning circuitry.
Yea, girls, they’ve been drinking bullshit this entire time. That, though, ends this PSL season (which oddly started four weeks ago). Yes, let your lady know that now Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spiced Lattes are now made with 100% (probably like 4%) real pumpkin.
Blame the locavore, all-natural movement or whatever. Or don’t, because hey, they may actually taste like real pumpkin now, instead of just sweet, sweet chemicals.
I do love my chemicals. Here’s what the Starbs Director of Espresso (apparently that’s a real gig) had to say.
After hearing from customers and partners about ingredients, we took another look at this beverage and why we created it so many years ago. It was simple – espresso, perfectly steamed milk, warm fall spices with delicious flavor of pumpkin pie that reminds you of the cool, crisp days of autumn. So, with that great taste you know and love, the PSL returns this fall, and this time it will be made with real pumpkin and without caramel coloring.
Should be delicious.