Babies are fun to have fun with. You can poke ’em in the stomach with your finger or hold them upside down for a couple of seconds or curse in their face or even let them play with their toys. Whatever you want you can do, for babies aren’t gonna remember any of this shit, because they’re dang babies.
One way parents like to play with their babies is by dressing them up in funny baby clothes. Shirts that say “I’m only here for the milk” and “Lactose Tolerant” and I don’t fucking know, I’ve never had one. Ask someone who has a baby. Your parents, perhaps. Bet they made you wear some dumb shit.
But online retailer CafePress is taking the ‘have fun at your infant’s expense’ movement a little too far with some seriously inappropriate baby clothes.
The store sells user-generated items, but has nonetheless drawn ire for not removing a category on its site called “Adult Sex XXX Porn Baby Clothing.”
Among the offerings in Adult Sex XXX Porn Baby Clothing are the above onesie, which says, “No, my mommy doesn’t like it in the ass, I’m here aren’t I,” which, LOL baby, but your mom could like it in the ass and still have you, you stupid baby.
Options also include a blanket that reads “Fuck me like a pornstar,” and a bib that says “You smell like porn,” which, yea baby, ’cause I fucked last night. When’s the last time you fucked?
Other bibs have expressions such as “Awesome head” and “Awesome strap-on,” which is kinda funny, I guess, because you do strap a bib on.
People are naturally upset. Caitlin Roper of Collective Soul, which is a “campaign movement against the objectification of women and sexualisation of girls” spoke to the Daily Mail.
‘I think it’s a massive issue using children’s clothing to promote what they would called ‘adult sexual humour’, even though it’s clearly rape ‘humour’,’ Ms Roper said.
I would argue the bigger issue is that it’s dumb, but that works, too.