Kids in New Mexico have finally found a use for the candy left over in their Halloween buckets that no one wants to eat — their snorting them up their noses.
Three New Mexico middle school kids have been accused of snorting Smarties on campus. The Clovis Municipal School District has decided to suspend the boys for 10 days. The reason behind the harsh suspension is that the district classifies Smarties as drugs, and explains that students can be suspended, possibly expelled, by possessing them.
Smarties are drugs? Where? To who? If Smarties are drugs I would have been slinging Smarts since the ’00. I’d have a new car, house and boat by now. I’d be the Pablo Escobar of Smarties smuggling. Seriously though, WTF?
Kelly Cook, the mother of Andrew Stonelake, a 13-year-old boy who was suspended for snorting Smarties, is outraged by what is happening. Andrew’s hearing for his suspension is scheduled for November 19, and the district will listen to Andrew’s side of the story and then decide if he should be punished further. Andrew claims that he didn’t snort or inhale the candy, him and his friends were just crushing it and then blowing the dust at each other.
Oh, shit, dust…I didn’t think of that! I could market that stuff one of two ways. Solid form and then the dust. I’m moving to NM. Goodbye old life, hello Smarties drug king of the other Mexico.