Study Claims Bullies Are Happier And Have More Sex Appeal, So Excuse Me While I Go Stick Some Bro’s Head In A Toilet

by 4 years ago


A new study published under the title ‘Survival of the Fittest and the Sexiest’ had put for the claim that bullies have higher self-esteem, are happier, and have more sex appeal. Our nation’s outspoken peddlers of P.C. would have you believe that bullying is directly responsible for the unraveling of our moral fiber, but if this new study is to be believed then I think we quite clearly need to pivot our stance on bullying and go balls deep on encouraging bullying from the earliest and most impressionable of ages. They say people with low intelligence are incapable of perceiving sarcasm, so for those of you reading this let me be very clear about this: I’m the world’s biggest advocate of bullying, insensitivity, and the band Nickelback.

This controversial new study was published in Sage Journals and summarized by the Washington Post, and the general findings of ‘Survival of the Fittest and the Sexiest — Evolutionary Origins of Adolescent Bullying‘ are as follows:

Four dependent variables were examined: depression, self-esteem, social status, and social anxiety. Results indicate that bullies had the most positive scores on mental health measures and held the highest social rank in the school environment, with significant differences limited to comparisons between bullies and bully/victims. These results lend support to the hypothesis that youth bullying is derived from evolutionary development. Implications for approaching anti-bullying strategies in schools and directions for future studies are discussed.

Above is an excerpt from the study’s abstract, here is a summary of the findings and the overall implications of the study taken from the Washington Post:

“The bullies come out on top,” said Jennifer Wong, the study’s lead researcher. Her surveys, conducted on 135 Vancouver high school students, indicate that bullying is biological, as kids who have dominating tendencies and a desire to rise to the top of social hierarchies often victimize others in order to get there.
Wong came to these conclusions by administering questionnaires that allowed participants to be categorized into one of four groups: bullies, victims, bully/victims (individuals who bully but also report being victimized themselves) and bystanders. Within these categories, the bullies reported the best self-evaluations and the bully/victims the worst.
“I’m absolutely not suggesting that we accept bullying as a natural thing,” Wong said. “We need to change the general school ethos so that bullies don’t gain any social status points from hurting others.”Rob Frenette, co-founder of support group Bullying Canada, told the National Post that the study is “stepping backward.” The bullies he has encountered have always been compelled by underlying issues, such as domestic violence.
“We don’t want parents who have a child who is considered a bully to think, ‘Well, it’s something they’re born with and there’s nothing we can do to adjust their behavior,’” he said.

Seems to me like ‘Rob Frenette, co-founder of support group Bullying Canada’ is the one who is stepping backward. Here we have some concrete scientific evidence that bullying creates healthier individuals due to ‘Survival of the Fittest’, and this maple syrup chugging Canadian’s trying to say that bullying is bad?

You know what’s bad, Rob? Ignoring science evidence in favor of your weak-ass Canadian conscience. No wonder a Canadian NHL team hasn’t won the Stanley Cup since 1993, they’re too focused on feelings and not focused enough on bullying at an early age!!!!!!

To read the study in full you can follow the links above to both Sage Journals and The Washington Post.