Most Unnecessary Study Ever Says Drunks Have No Clue As How Badly Wasted They Are

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If you’re an individual like me who enjoys indulging in an adult beverage from time to time, sometimes you overindulge. However, you never know at the time that you are far too drunk. But, the next morning you know you drank too much the night before based on your debilitating headache that makes you feel like your brain could explode at any second. Then you check your Facebook and see a video of you doing a handstand and taking a dump in your ex’s mailbox. Then you really, really know that you consumed far too much alcohol the night before. However, you are not alone in your inability to gauge your drunkenness.

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A study published in the BioMed Central Public Health journal sought to discover if people realized how inebriated how much or little they were. The researchers from Cardiff University surveyed 1,862 clubgoers and bar hoppers in the U.K. city of Cardiff. The partygoers were asked to rate their level of inebriation and then their blood alcohol levels were measured by a breathalyzer test.

Instead of the responders judging their own shitfacedness, they compared their drunkenness to how plastered or not their friends were.

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Ars Technica explains the results of the study:

After a rigorous statistical analysis, the researchers found that people were basing their rank sensitivity not on the drunkest people around them but on the most sober. “It appears that drinkers are more self-aware of their own level of intoxication when in the presence of those who are sober,” they conclude. As a result, we might be able to curb dangerous drinking just by encouraging the presence of “sober ambassadors” like designated drivers in bars and clubs. Our social groups determine how much we drink, but they often nudge us in a healthier direction more than we realize.

So if you have no sober people in your party while drinking then it sounds like you have no clue how shwasted you are.

Dafuq is a “sober ambassador.” Good luck recruiting people to be a “sober ambassador.” Why the fuck would a sober person want to go to a bar with all drunk sots?

This all sounds like an outstanding idea of having non-drinkers around to sober-shame alcoholics into not getting blitzed on that night. However, I hate to burst these scientist people’s bubble, but it doesn’t work.

I’ve been surrounded by stone sober people and it did not curtail my drinking 3/4 of a bottle of Casa Noble Special Reserve Anejo. I still can’t believe I got kicked out of that 5-year-old’s birthday for bellyflopping into the bouncy house. Sure that one tyke named Colin got catapulted out of the inflatable jumper house and landed in the rocks, but how was I to know that would happen? Especially in my inebriated condition.