Study Says 44% Of Women Don’t Expect Gifts For Valentine’s Day, Also I’m Selling A Bridge

We hear a lot about “fake news” these days, but this may be the epitome of fake news. Epi24, which is a sex toy company because where else would you get important news from, surveyed 400 American women during December 2016 to get their opinions on Valentine’s Day and there were some eye-popping revelations that really sound like flat-out lies.

44% of them didn’t expect to celebrate with any presents or romantic meals.”

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Do you know what else is around 44%? The risk of divorce. Experts believe the chance of divorce to be between 42-45%.

“In fact, of all the holidays, 41% of women in relationships dread V-Day the most.”

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If your girl says she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day she is lying to you.

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I don’t even blame women. If you have a decent girl then she probably doesn’t really care if you get her that shitty tennis bracelet that is made from diamond pebbles. But then she checks her Facebook and sees other women get three dozen roses, Michelin-starred dinner, and a platinum diamond ring. Now your crapola card from Target that you picked up on the way to her house seems like a lousy gesture and you’re a piece of shit.

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Maybe reason with your girl and ask if you can go to a special Valentine’s Day dinner on February 15 when the restaurants don’t have a fancy prix fixe menu where the prices are jacked up 20%. Plus she can have all the discount chocolate and flowers that aren’t price gouged to fucking to hell the very next day.

feb15 discount candy day

So be smart, but make sure you show your chick that you do care about her and how you want to make her feel special.

For those of you who don’t have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, I hope you manage to pull yourself through this difficult time.

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