This sounds like a great mystery of our time. Truck driver Van Thomas bought a big rig three weeks ago to live the American dream. One of his hauls was to drive 44,000 pounds of Miller High Life from Texas to Orlando, Florida. After spending the night at a truck stop on South Orange Blossom Trail, Van Thomas woke up to discover that his 44,000-pound haul of “The Champagne of Beers” was completely lifted.
While 44,000-pounds of Miller High Life sounds like it could be a pretty fun time for a kegger, you really have to feel for this poor dude who was just trying to make an honest living in the world. I’m sure the crew of robbers jacked the truck before looking at what’s inside, then realized — “Fuck… What the hell can we actually do with all this beer?”
The good news is that detectives located Van Thomas’s truck down in Miami. Put a GPS on that rig, buddy.