This is why I live my life with just the right amount of fear and respect for the ocean. And by “just the right amount” I, of course, mean “a fucking shitload.” The ocean and its creatures have no use for human life. They don’t need us AT ALL. We’re the ones who are constantly meddling in their shit. In fact, if sharks had legs, the human race would have all been killed a long time ago. We certainly would have never seen the age of automatic weapons to defend ourselves. Those fucking sharks would have offed us before we even got to muzzleloaders.
Anyway, now that you know I am a gigantic bitch when it comes to testing the ocean, this near death footage of a great white shark trying to murder a fool was captured today off the coast of Western Cape in South Africa. It’s very entertaining to watch from the safety of my desk, but I’m sure it will be remembered as “horrifying shit” and “the day I pissed into my socks” to the cameraman who was there.