Dude Sweeps Tinder Chick Off Her Feet With His Sexual Innuendos And They’re Probably Banging As I Write This

All my dinosaur friends who are in long-term relationships and have never experienced the magic of Tinder think that all that is required to have sex after a match is as simple as shooting off a “Sex?” message. They are incorrect. For the most part. The robots are willing to fuck anywhere, anyway, and they even give you a complimentary invite to their webcam show. I should probably see one of those invitations through when times get tough.

But the bottom line is that broadly speaking, women need their Tinder matches to a.) establish they’re not creepy and b.) differentiate themselves from the other two billion thirsty dudes trying to get their rocks off while swiping on their couches with their other hand down their pants.

One can make himself stand out through humor, kindness, and my personal favorite, threats. Just kidding–kindness never works. Kindness gets you friend zoned. Trying to acquire “friends” through Tinder is like trying to recruit a mentor through the Westboro Baptist Church.

Humor is best.

And this dude knocked it out of the park.

Screen Shot 2015-09-22 at 4.24.11 PM Screen Shot 2015-09-22 at 4.24.34 PM

[h/t LADbible]