Cops At The University Of Oregon Got Fired For Making A Giant List Of 225 People Who Should Go Eat A Bowl Of Dicks

This is the most comprehensive and informative list I’ve ever seen. Oprah Winfrey? Yep, totally could eat a bowl of dicks. Double parkers? Yep. Gary Busey? That’s probably the most accurate person on this list seeing as how there’s a 0% chance he DOESN’T get up in the morning and chow down on a big ol’ box of “Dix Mix” cereal first thing in the morning. According to former police officer James Cleavenger,

” Before each shift, Cleavenger says Lt. Brandon Lebrecht would conduct a pre-shift briefing with all of the officers on the shift, including Kent Abbott, Michael Drake, Adam Lillengreen, Eric LeRoy and Andrew Bechdolt.

During many of those briefings, Cleavenger says Lebrachet allowed for a discussion of a ‘Bowl of —– List.’

Cleavenger says this was an actual list of people and entities who participating officers disliked and thought should ‘eat a bowl of’ a vulgar term for the male genitalia.”


Cleavenger goes on to say how multiple officers would spend most of their shifts figuring out people to put on the list instead of working, which, I can’t blame them for since that sounds way better than fighting crime. What would you rather do, play baby sitter to some drunk college kid in the back of your patrol car or write down “Mick Jagger’s Arm Fat” on a list of dick eaters? Hell, there’s a good chance I’ll start fucking around for the rest of the day with making my own list instead of “working” now. There’s a lawsuit going on between the University and the police who were fired, but I know no one here gives a shit about that and y’all just wanna see the list. So here ’tis, all 225 names in all their dick eating glory.

Images Via KVAL

[H/T Total Frat Move]