I’ve Always Thought Vegans Are Crazy As A Sprayed Cockroach But HOLY Frijoles This Person Is Insane

Everyone knows the First Rule of Veganism is that a vegan must tell every person they come in contact with that they’re a vegan, and they must proselytize their veganism on everyone. However, most people don’t know the lesser known Second Rule of Veganism that states ‘if you see an animal for sale you must return it to its natural habitat, even if you don’t have a goddamn clue what its natural habitat is’. Seriously, this is in the Vegan Handbook For Dummies, look it up. And this is precisely what one Canadian woman did when she saw a friggin’ lobster for sale at a grocery store in northern Ontario.

via CBC.ca:

Christine Loughead was in her local grocery store in the northwestern Ontario town of Red Lake when she spotted it in a tank. The lobster was alive, destined for someone’s dinner plate.
“It weighed on my psyche more and more,” said the long-time vegetarian-turned-vegan.
“There’s this live being who — it’s not too late to help. He’s alive.”

She bought the lobster for $20.23, brought it home and wondered what to do next. After some Googling, she realized the lobster most likely came from Nova Scotia, and thought it would be better to return it to the ocean than to keep it in a tank.
Loughead posted a message on a Facebook group for vegans in Halifax, looking for someone who could put the lobster back in the ocean if she could get it to Nova Scotia.
​Beth Kent of Bridgewater answered the call. She stopped eating meat after she helped found the town’s first animal shelter 35 years ago and is passionate about helping all living beings.

This trick spends twenty bucks on a lobster at a grocery store in Northern Ontario and then she fucking drove SIX HOURS to the UPS store, spent $225 to mail that lobster to Halifax, Nova Scotia, an almost 7 hour plane ride from her town of Red Lake. Once in Nova Scotia the lobster was then driven to a location that the women deemed ‘a good place’ to send it back into the ocean, and after an over 24-hour trip to the Northern Atlantic it was returned to the sea where it will probably be caught again by a lobster trap and subsequently eaten by a normal human being that doesn’t give two flying fucks about the peace and well being of a lobster.

Just look at this map to get a fix on how far this vegan sent the lobster back to the ocean:

The lobster was packed in a Styrofoam box with cold packs and wet newspaper. Kent said she was relieved to see it was still alive and moving after the 24-hour journey.
She drove the lobster to a spot she thought would be a good place to release it into the ocean, but changed her mind when she saw a fishing boat on the horizon.
Kent then found a small cove where she thought the lobster would have better chances and put it in the water.
“All of a sudden, he straightened out and walked over the rocks,” she said.
Back in Ontario, Loughead was relieved to hear the lobster completed the long, strange journey. Kent said she has no ill will towards fishermen and was just happy to help this lobster.

I can only imagine that this is how she celebrated her good deed:

I’m so glad that this woman feels better about herself now that she’s created a MASSIVE CARBON FOOTPRINT (driving six hours to the UPS store, putting this little bug on a plane, another drive to the shore, etc) all just so she could put a fucking lobster back into the ocean.

I was in Maine two weekends ago for my cousin’s wedding and while there I managed to eat lobster at least twice a day for the 5 days of my trip, let’s average that out to 11 whole lobsters eaten by me in just 5 days. I hope this lady feels great about her foolish adventure to save one goddamn lobster, and the negative environmental impact she caused to put it back in the water.

By the way, that feature image at the beginning was from the lobster bake we had on Chebeague Island and it was GLORIOUS.

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(tip of the hat to Brett Rosner for tweeting out this ridiculous article from the CBC!)