Venus And Jupiter Will Be So Close Together In The Night Sky Tonight, It’ll Look Like They’re Doing It, Yo


Planets don’t have sex. Or at least, we don’t think they do. There’s a lot we don’t know about the universe, and one of its mysteries that could eventually be revealed is that planets do it just like people. One planet has a planet vagina and one has a planet dick and they rub atmospheres together until a new planet is birthed.

That seems just as logical as swirling clumps of helium eventually forming big ol’ masses.

But Jupiter and Venus are not gonna have sex. At least not tonight. The two planets are still 416 million miles apart, which is a long way to go in terms of planetary courtship. But it will look like they are bumping moons up in the sky.

That’s because from our humble perspective on Earth, they will be practically aligned. Here’s CNN.

Tuesday night, Jupiter and Venus will culminate a month-long dance with what astronomers say will be a dazzling display, appearing just a fraction of a degree apart from one another in the night sky…

“To the eye they’ll look like a double star,” Sky & Telescope editor Kelly Beatty said on the magazine’s website.

DOUBLE STAR FUCK YEA. The New York Times has your how-to on how to see it.

At sunset, get away from buildings and trees that might block your view of the western sky. Stick an arm out, give a thumbs up and squint your eyes. Venus and Jupiter should be about one third of a degree, or about a thumb’s width apart.

That was a convoluted way of saying, just look left. If you are facing north. Right if you are looking south.

ABC is calling it “the best backyard show of 2015,” because clearly their next door neighbor has never blown a goat in broad daylight.

Anyway. Space. It’s fucking cool.