The WWE makes a hefty, hefty chunk of change in merchandise sales. John Cena continues to reign above others in the WWE because he sells so many god damn shirts. The guy has a new shirt in the WWE Shop every week. There’s isn’t anything the WWE won’t slap “Never Give Up” on. They’d tattoo it on a Make-A-Wish kid if the parents signed a consent form.
In the glory years of WCW, they pushed merchandise at fans at every opportunity. They even had a handy catalog that was 27 pages thick. Every WCW superstar had at least ten different items for sale. There was a Buff Bagwell growth chart for little Buff fans to track their tren cycles and a Nitro Girls poster for kids to practice their Five Star Penis Frog Splash on.
Browsing through a copy, there were more than a couple items that caught my eye. I’d drop down good money to own these items today.
The only way the Macho Man coin bank could be more awesome would be if every time you dropped in a coin, Macho Man’s voice barked out catchphrases like “OH YEAHHHHHHH, SAVING BROTHER!” and “THIS MONEY IS IN GOOD HANDS! YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!” and “FREAK OUT! FREAK OUT! THAT’S A RARE OHIO QUARTER!” That Macho Man caged shirt is pretty damn sweet too.
There was a solid year Chris Jericho was ALWAYS the best segment of WCW Nitro and his match was the highlight of the night. Jericho jumped ship to WWE when WCW began to sink in 2000, which was a smart move, and he took all of his Jerichoholics with him. I want to wear this shirt and read off all 1,001 moves that Chris Jericho knows while Ralphus runs security detail at my bedroom door.
Every holiday, I’m stuck at the mall on Christmas Eve day FRANTICALLY looking for a gift for my woman. She likes jewelry. That’s all I ever remember. Little did I know she could have been blinged out in pure WCW gold AND show her allegiance to a man dressed like The Crow and a group of 4o-year-old men pretending to be a gang. She’s all dressed up for the wedding and she looks JUST TOO SWEEEEEEEET. Then I hit her with a chair and reveal a DX shirt.
Who knew it was possible to look like an even bigger pussy in the gym?
If you’re in the deep south, it’s a DDP hat. If you’re lost in Queens, NY, it’s a Jay-Z hat. If you’re really in deep shit, it’s the Illuminati, and just say you know me.
You’re not getting laid if you’re wearing wrestling gear anyway so let’s add some Porky Pig. THETHETHETHE..THAT’S A VIRGIN!
H/T WCW Worldwide