This Wife Wrote The Greatest, Most Savage Open Letter To Her Husband And His Mistress On His Birthday

wife open letter husband mistress birthday


Cheating on someone is one of the most shitty things you can do to a person. I think most people would rather just be broken up with than to find out that their partner has been banging someone else and lying about it or keeping it a secret.

It also is something that can result in rather embarrassing consequences if the person being cheated on decides to get revenge (as we have seen happen many, many times). Especially when they decide to do it publicly.

Which is exactly what happened to the man below as his wife decided the best revenge was to write an open letter to him, and his mistress, on his birthday, for all the internet to see.

It’s quite the letter too, very detailed and lengthy, so I will just share some of the highlights with you…

Happy 43rd Birthday, Babe! I hope you enjoyed your date. You had to have been looking forward to the weekend. I mean your boo got her hair done and shit although she doesn’t quite get her cejas together like I like but we all have something, right? I am sure she’s a great person. She fucks married men for Christ’s sake. Oh and before I forget- Happy Birthday, Tina! Your dress was cute. Cheap…but cute. But I digress. This is, totally, NOT about her.

Anyway, I didn’t want to interrupt your good time so I waited until now to publish this. You see- even though you are a piece of shit, I am still the dutiful wife until the very end. Papito, I KNOW that you need a minute to digest that this is REALLY happening. Babe, this shit is is going down RIGHT NOW. I’ll give you a few seconds to pick your face up. 1…2…3…FUCK OUTTA HERE.

You probably figured that I wouldn’t speak about this publicly because I’d be embarrassed. NOPE. Not even. In fact, this isn’t for you so much as I know there’s a sister out there who is falling apart over her ain’t shit husband and begging for her family to stay together. I’m lying, my nigga. THIS IS, totally, about you as well but I might as well empower some sisters while giving you my ENTIRE ass to kiss.

She is…not happy.

Skipping ahead a little now…

I loved you and I was a good wife to you. Fuck that! I was a great wife to you even when you were a mediocre husband. Dios mio! I resigned myself to your punk ass not handling your family as you should have. That was a red flag and because I am a fighter, I took that burden on although folks tried to talk me out of marrying you. What did I know? You were my dude.

Then, you stopped adulting. Like legit stopped taking care of your family and got in your feelings because I said I wasn’t having it. You’re a grown ass man. Bitch, you need to work. I mean you will never be great but shit- be something! I mean our sex life was amazing but you ain’t earning a living off the d. Not here anyway. That tender ass male ego reared its ugly ass head again. You stayed worried about men who I didn’t even talk to anymore. You damn near rolled on the floor throwing a temper tantrum when I told you Dave (my ex) was one of the top 5 most important men in my life. I mean you did at least make the list…albeit you were #5. Tsk tsk tsk.

SOOOO many burns in there he is definitely going to need some aloe.

Fast forwarding some more here. (I told you it was very long – and awesome.)

Oh and for the record- my Dad hated you and I didn’t know it. His best friend told me a few days ago. He didn’t think that you were good enough for me and he didn’t think that you deserved Yemi.

Who the fuck raised you? I mean only a narcissistic sociopath starts an affair when his wife’s father dies. You were intentionally trying to hurt me. Well ain’t that fucking rich?

You and The Birthday Girl became “official” on Valentine’s Day (at least according to her). Ay- que lindo! Then, you became Facebook friends. You changed your status to “separated” 2 days before you became her friend. I guess if you are going to be a cheating sack of shit, you’d better look half way official.

Are you loving this as much as I am? Suck it, cheater.

And you and Tuna seem to be a match made in heaven and she’s talking babies ALREADY.. Y’all just started fucking around but she’s doing the absolute most. She’s a little off. That’s weird as fuck but mmmkaaaaay. Good luck with that!

She hasn’t learned you yet. I mean she IS only getting a shell of the man you used to be. You’ve lost so much weight, your skin looks like shit and you drink too much. That, ALWAYS, happens when you are around your play sister. She, literally, sucks out your lifeforce. But hey-that’s not my portion. Let the church say “Amen.”

Oh, have you shown her how insecure you are? I know you swore I slept with every guy friend I had on Facebook. If you haven’t, you will soon. You’re a fuck up. And from those goofy ass memes she keeps posting, I assume that you told her that I was always begging for your money.

“She, literally, sucks out your lifeforce.” Bahahahah!

Now let’s skip down to the end because it’s a doozy…

I know you swore I slept with every guy friend I had on Facebook. If you haven’t, you will soon. You’re a fuck up. And from those goofy ass memes she keeps posting, I assume that you told her that I was always begging for your money. Everybody knows I’m a hustler de verdad. If she’s heard anything else, we both know it’s a lie. Oh and you don’t want the world to think that you’re a deadbeat on top of being a shitty ass husband and man, do you? I do expect you to run those coins for our daughter. I mean you DO have a fresh pair of J’s my nigga!

I’m the true definition of bad and bourgeois. Bad and bougee for the high school dropouts.

They say death comes in 3’s. I’m officially a widow because you’re dead to me.

You, two, have a blessed and prosperous day! Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Your Not So Happy Wife.

“I’m officially a widow because you’re dead to me.”


You can read the rest of the letter in all of its karmic glory here.

H/T BlackSportsOnline

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.