Will You Be My Girlfriend? (Update)

by 5 years ago


Last week I posted my requirements for my future girlfriend (find those requirements here) and lots of people are giving me shit over it. Some are even saying hateful things like “no wonder why this guy is single!”

I’m not sure why there is so much backlash; shouldn’t everyone have a list of likes and dislikes before pursuing a potential mate?  Maybe it’s because I didn’t say much about myself, so allow me to do that right now.

I currently run a 5.31 40.

Can do 18 guy pushups or 34 girl pushups in one set. Record for pu’s (pushups) in a day is 39.

Have dated lots of women so I’m pretty experienced. I once kissed 3 girls in one week in 7th grade. Last year alone I went on several blind dates and a ton of second dates (so I’m obviously doing something right).

I love making eye contact with potential mates but anything over 4.5 seconds is a bit creepy, no?

I can unclip a bra with one hand at an 81% success rate. If I use two hands, that rate goes up to 96%.

My favorite movie is a tie between The Karate Kid and A Walk to Remember (sue me, I’m sensitive).

I can hold my liquor. I once drank a six-pack in an hour and then went for a jog. I ended up puking but it was from the uphill portion of the run.

I don’t get embarrassed easily. One time I pissed my pants while waiting in line at a 7-11 and I still got my Twix and walked out with my head held high.

I’ll pay for the dinner most of the time as long as it isn’t seafood. I don’t like seafood much.

I’m a good dancer because I practice air grinding at home before I go out at night. You may laugh but it’s a great way to measure how your hips are moving in real time.

Likes: Falcons, the great outdoors, trains, walking on the beach with sneakers and Head and Shoulders because it gets rid of my dandruff and also moisturizes my scalp.

Dislikes: Spiders, really hot pizza, art, sharp elbows and Pantene Pro V because it doesn’t get rid of my dandruff.

So now that you know a little bit more about me, I’d really like to hear some serious responses from the ladies out there. I’ll pay for our first date (as long as it’s not seafood! hehe).

I look forward to hearing from you!

Follow and/or stalk Mike Camerlengo on Twitter. 

[Image via ShutterStock]

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