Woman Drops Pants, Throws Shit and Performed ‘Lewd Act’ at Dick’s Drive-In

We take you to Seattle where a woman went on an epic outburst at a burger joint. Police were called to Dick’s Drive-In when the unruly woman went on a rampage on Wednesday evening after engaging in a rowdy argument with employees. Things escalated quickly when the crazed woman hurled a condiment holder and charity donation box from the front counter at employees, striking one worker. I think we got a critic here. She then pulled her pants down and “performed a very lewd act in front of Dick’s,” Seattle police say. Haha! They said, “performed a lewd at in front of Dick’s.” Police arrived at the scene and arrested the woman and charged her with assault and harassment. Seems like going on Yelp and giving a one-star review would have been a heck of a lot easier.

The question that I have is, what was the lewd act? What irresponsible journalism by the news to just say, “lewd act,” and not specifically describe what the lewd act actually was. Like after disrobing did she fingerbang herself in the middle of the restaurant or did she take a steaming dump on one of the hamburger rolls and then eat it? This is vital information necessary to the story and there is no room for such vagueries in quality news reporting.