Words can seriously change your life. As much as I hate to admit it, part of the reason I am where I am today was because I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance at a very formative stage of my life.
Ugh, I know. That book, barf. But I read it at a particularly low point, and it convinced me to work a little harder at the things I do. That the effort I put in is what is important, not the results of even the product. Effort can make you feel whole.
Anyhoo, you aren’t here to read about 21-year-old me being all “I understand life now.” You are here to read about the lady who banged 3,000 men after reading a magazine article. It wasn’t an excerpt from Zen and it wasn’t Hop on Pop. It was, well, they don’t fucking say god dammit. From the New York Daily News:
An English woman who makes up one half of one of the UK’s most prominent swinging couples says a magazine her husband brought home 35 years ago provided the first impetus for a journey that she says has seen her have sex with 3,000 men.
A swingers’ mag inspired Marie Calvert, 63, and her husband Barry to try out group sex romps after the publication stoked their interest, she reveals in a steamy first-person reflection the Guardian published Friday.
She doesn’t reveal the name of the article, which is bullshit, because all women should be open to learning and reading and shit. And fucking, obvi. I can only hope that in my reporting, I can convince a young woman to take up swinging. Maybe one day she will fondly recall reading BroBible and thinking about doing lots of people.
Back to Marie, though. Almost immediately after the article, she started getting down.
Calvert found herself having sex with as many as 14 men in one night, she writes.
“The night I slept with 14 men was at a swingers’ party in Manchester,” she said. “I remember driving there feeling almost uncontrollably lustful. The next day I felt achy, in that lovely way, like when you’ve been to the gym.”
That’s … yea. The gym.
The couple didn’t stop at screwing everything in sight. No, like Jay-Z, they turned it into a business.
The curious couple started by visiting another area pair to trade partners, but they later opened their own swingers’ club, La Chambre, in Sheffield in 1997, according to an earlier Guardian report.
The club is “the premier swinging club in Great Britain … built for the hedonistic enjoyment of liberated couples and singles.”
Ya bish. I would go there. Unfortunately, in her 60s, Calvert eased up. Last year, she only had sex with three people, down from a high of 100.
Old age. It’s a bitch.