A Bunch Of Women Revealed The Worst Things You Can Do On A First Date, So Stop Doing These Things, Bros

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Call me crazy, but when a bunch of women reveal what they consider to be first-date killers it’s probably a good idea to pay attention and maybe take a few notes.

I mean, even on our best days, we have no idea what women are thinking so this “Ask Reddit” thread posing the question, “Girls, what are the things a guy does on a first date that kills it?” might be worth a look.

Here are some of the tips I deemed to be the most useful. Use at your discretion.

Gets angry when a woman tries to pay then feels entitled to sexual intimacy because he paid. ~ RagingFuckalot

Being on his phone way too much, especially when we’re at dinner/a restaurant/etc… I just find it really rude. ~ truekwane

Being too loud in a restaurant. I’ve had this happen twice on first dates and both times I already knew there wouldn’t be a second date mid-meal.

Edit: I think I need to clarify so I’m not making anyone feel self-conscious, but I’m talking about people who practically yell in a quiet-ish dining room, not those who may have a louder voice or may speak at a slightly higher volume because of their nerves. ~ TheBlowersDaughter23

Had a guy ask if I was on birth control. A bit presumptuous. ~ 12thStreetAndVine

I had a guy who asked how easily I conceived and if I could still have children on the first date. (I’m 32 and have a daughter from my first marriage). ~ coffeeshake

Talking about his divorce for literally 20-30 minutes without asking me a thing about myself, or even trying to fake a bit of “but enough about that, tell me about yourself” interest. ~ clean__underwear

Corrects you when you order a drink. Once I ordered the vodka soda on special and this douche says, “no, she won’t be having that. Give her the Belvedere”.

Another guy one time cancelled the wine I’d ordered and ordered something more expensive.

It’s happened more than a few times. It’s really irritating. ~ Bluetootsmagoo

1) get drunk and proceed to grab my boobs, forcefully make out with me, introduce me to your family, ask if your cousin is hotter than you, piss in public multiple times and spit in my face, then ask if I’ll be your girlfriend.

2) give me crazy eyes, then proceed to tell me about your recent homelessness, your abandonment as a child, how much you love skulls, and make me drive you around.

3) Tell me I need to hold your hand the entire date because you refuse to be friend zoned, then force very intimate hug upon first seeing each other, make out with me then when I start crying, ignore it, rub my thigh and continue forcefully making out with me, then ask me to come home with you.

These were all real dates that I went on with 3 different guys. They all harassed me afterwards as well. ~ jizznipples95

Married now, but the worst was always generally trying too hard to impress. I don’t need you to try show me how much you know about food/beer/wine/music/movies/exercise/whatever we’re talking about or trying to enjoy. Let’s just have a conversation, mmmkay? You don’t have to win. This is especially annoying when it manifests as “you don’t want to order that, you HAVE to get this it’s so much better.” Also, I never had a guy try to order for me, but if it had ever happened, I would’ve just walked out. ~ ceeceesmartypants

Don’t shy away from getting “deep” – some of the best first dates I’ve had, we ended up talking for hours about some crazy thing that we both had in common that was weird or not mainstream at all, or very conceptual. That said, I also don’t need to know about all of your flaws up front. ~ KnittingEntropy

Talking about how he’s such a nice guy, not like those neckbeards who won’t hold a door for a lady or who have bad relationships with their moms. I had a date with a guy who thought he was “in” because he made me dinner. He was a terrible cook and an even more obnoxious conversation partner.

Also, maybe I’m picky, but when a guy doesn’t even pretend to dress nicely for the date, it’s a major turn off. Like, showing up wearing a black hoodie has visible Cheeto dust where you wiped your hands, or maybe there’s a suspicious stain on the crotch of your pants. Yeah, I’m definitely not going to investigate that more closely with any part of my body… ~ Dr_Mrs_Pibb

Constantly talking about himself without asking anything about me, or when he does ask about me, interrupts me to talk about himself.

In other words, completely dominating the conversation to speak about nothing else besides himself. ~ JezebelleAcid

Complains about “crazy” women. Huge red flag.

Bonus points if he’s complaining about a “crazy” ex. You couldn’t have been incompatible. There couldn’t have been a lack of communication or passion in the relationship. She was just crazy.

Nope, not buying it. Next. ~ sodabrothel

Drives like a lunatic. I went on a date who went speeding through a parking lot, up and down the lanes, looking for a spot. Um, chill, please? ~ supersupernormal

Say in some way or another, “I’m not like other guys.”

H’okaaay. ~ withpurpose

Insisting on walking me home after I tell him not to. I feel far more comfortable walking alone than I do letting someone I just met know where I live. ~ theworldismadeofcorn

Smells like juice. Was on a first date, from ok Cupid…guy was nice, funny, lots in common, we went to Starbucks to meet and he smelled like juice. LIKE A LOT. Whole time, I was thinking, “did he just have juice? Is it body wash? Did he spill juice on himself earlier? Does he know he smells like juice? Can I reasonably date someone who smells like juice this strongly?” ~ LaurAdorable

You all get that? DON’T SMELL LIKE JUICE, GUYS!

Check out the rest of the first-date no-nos over at Reddit.

Man and woman image by Shutterstock

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