Get Your Shit Together America! Worldwide Study Says Canada Sends Most Poop Emojis On The Planet!

The good people at SwiftKey (Which is my go-to Android keyboard) analyzed over 1 billion pieces of data to determine the most popular emojis around the world. The research included several countries and more than 16 different languages.

Despite all of the new emojis that have been introduced lately, the study found that happy faces make up 44.8 percent of all emojis sent. The second most used is sad faces at 14.8 percent.

The one burning question that I had regarding this study is which nation utilizes the all-important poop emoji the most? My patriotic pride pumping red, white and blue through my veins assured me that it was definitely the U.S. of A that was the shit masters of the world. However I was sorrowfully mistaken. Our neighbors to the north, the Canadians are indeed the Kings of Poop.

Get your shit together America.

But we do send the most eggplant emojis, that symbolizes a fat cock, so we’ve got that going for us which is nice.

Oh and you know how Canada has this goody two-shoes reputation for being super nice? Well they aren’t so friendly in texts because they had the most usage of violent emojis that included guns, knives, punching fist, explosions, skulls and bombs. Not so amiable after all. Ehh?

France proves that they have heart. The land of love and romance is the only country that prefers to send hearts rather than happy faces. However it was the Russian speakers who were the biggest romantics, using three times as much romance-themed emojis than the average.

Australia leads the world in use of drug-related emojis. America comes up short again, and are below average in the category.

Australia kicks our ass again in alcohol emojis too! We don’t come close to the Aussies, who use double the average amount of alcohol-themed emojis. Even the Portuguese drink us under the table. For fuck’s sake America, we really have deteriorated as a superpower.

Well you’re thinking to yourself that the slovenly fat ‘Murica must dominate the world in food emojis? You’d be dead wrong. We can’t even eat our way to a victory.

But fear not fellow patriots, this great nation of ours dominates in the raised fist emoji! Which SwiftKey placed in their “Raunchy” category because it can mean getting fisted.


Fuck it.



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