The 10 Saddest Reactions From Dodger Fans Following Another Post Season Pants-Pooping

by 2 weeks ago

Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images


The Dodgers pooped their pants again. Figuratively, of course. Well maybe literally, if they’re like me and their brain and buttholes sleep in separate rooms seven days a week.

There’s been only one other team ever, the 1995-1999 Cleveland Indians, to make it to 5 straight playoffs and not win the World Series. The Dodgers–who won seven straight division titles, two consecutive pennants, several 100 win seasons–have 0 championship rings to show for it.

Yikes.

Let’s look at 10 Dodgers fans who are in a world of hurt today.

Telling the internet to stop making jokes is as fruitless as telling the sky to stop raining. The internet salivates over the misfortune of others. It’s always better to embrace the hurt rather than fight it. In visual terms:

Must be tough for Dodger fans to wake up today. If it makes you guys feel any better, Clayton Kershaw is still in bed listening to Bon Iver while deep in a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s and watching the ball go through Bill Buckner’s legs on repeat because misery loves company.

OOoooOoOoo LoOk At ThE hErO! Some of the worst types of fans after big losses are the wax poets who put their hands over their hearts while watching a dumpster engulfed in flames. Make sure you throw a few spaces in between sentences for dramatic effect.

Noble and Brave.

I’m just picturing a banner hanging from Dodger Stadium with the phrase “In The Mix Year After Year (Year-Year)” proudly stitched across it.

Hey, hey, hey. Those jerseys cost $119.99 on the MLB Shop website, or absolutely free at your local dumpster.

Oh no.

Preying on the emotions of a fan base to shill your ambiguously named company. Synergy Global Housing? Is that an offshoot of Prestige Worldwide? Take your #branding bullshit and remind me never to use your company for any and all of my Synergy Global Housing needs.

Oh that’s cold. I can understand ‘Pants-Shitting-Mentally-Weak-Pansy-Losers’ but comparing them to the Cowboys is a bit extreme. Where is the damn ‘REPORT’ button on this website?

The intersection of art and truth is where true masterpieces lie. And they had to do Clayton dirty by giving him gingivitis.

Being roasted by Kathy from Human Resources is the leading cause of inter-office homicide.

Some would call being a Dodgers fan an addiction. I call it a disease.

****

Hug a Dodgers fan today. Then immediately shower to wash the failure off of you.

 

 


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