Here’s Our Official 2016 NFL Draft Drinking Game

nfl-draft-2016-top-picks

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Tonight marks the start of the 2016 NFL Draft, finally putting aside all the bullshit talking heads about which players are unexpectedly falling down draft boards, never accurate mock drafts and the end of Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair for a few months.

And since we’ll all be glued to our TVs to see how things unfold, why not get drunk as fuck while watching our favorite teams choose this guy instead of that guy. We’ve got your ass covered—so here’s your official 2016 NFL Draft Drinking Game.

kiper-mcshay

One drink:

  • Use of the word “upside”
  • Use of the word “potential”
  • Time an analyst suggests picking for value not need
  • Non-skilled position player drafted
  • Comparison of a drafted player to a player already in the league
  • There’s a trade
  • Mention of last year’s quarterback class
  • Time a team makes a pick in under three minutes
  • Johnny Manziel gets mentioned
  • Jared Goff gets compared to Aaron Rodgers

bosa-watt-todd-mcshay

Two drinks:

  • Discussion of Joey Bosa being the next J.J. Watt
  • Reference to a player’s performance at the combine
  • Audible cry from a drunk in the balcony
  • Mention of no players failing a drug test at NFL Combine for first time ever
  • Time character issues are mentioned
  • Time a player’s legal troubles are referenced
  • Non-FBS is player drafted
  • SEC player taken
  • Commercial break
  • Skill position player taken
  • Time a media member tweets the pick before it’s announced

jets-fan-draft

Three drinks:

  • A pissed off Jets fan is shown on TV
  • Mention of a player’s “closing speed”
  • Discussing of a quarterback’s offensive system
  • Suit that isn’t black, brown or blue
  • Jon Gruden makes goofy expression
  • Jon Gruden gives a Grudenism
  • You recognize a player selected after the fifth round
  • Bill Belichick tradedown
  • Time Jerry Jones actually shows restraint

Four drinks:

  • Chris Berman freaks the fuck out
  • Claim that a player is a “coach on the field”
  • A hot chick is shown next to one of the players in the Green Room
  • Time a team doesn’t get their pick in on time
  • Player gets caught swiping on Tinder

roger-goodell-handshake

Five drinks:

  • A player gives dap or hugs Roger Goodell
  • Mel Kiper and Todd McShay argue
  • Ivy League player selected
  • Time it ends
  • Times you think of giving up hope on your team