Real Sports have replaced Bryant Gumbel’s opening monologue with video segments from various HBO’s comedic personalities. Entertainers such as Chris Rock, Lewis Black and Susie Essman are scheduled to appear on the program to provide a more jocular look at the sports world, maybe even John Oliver. The first HBO newsmaker to take a crack at sports is the always-opinionated, never-shy Bill Maher.
Maher began his diatribe with “New Rules for Real Sports” where he attacked the tough target of high school bowling, reprimanded television networks for over-sensationalizing Olympic athletes’ human interest stories and berated people who play action sports video games by saying, “Playing a video game of skateboarding is like watching a porno of you touching yourself.”
He then set his sights on the NFL, first their well-documented domestic violence issues. “We appreciate your sudden awareness of domestic violence. But then, right into the Budweiser commercial? Are you kidding me?” Maher said. “Beer is more responsible for more violence against women than the Taliban.”
Maher supports his views, “It’s a factor in up to half of all cases of domestic abuse, and yet of the over 100 banned substances that the NFL regularly tests for, alcohol is not on the list.”
The Real Time with Bill Maher host noted that sudafed, propecia or dehydroepiandrosterone, the primary ingredient in the dick enlarging pill ExtenZe, are banned. “So if you’re a horny bald guy with allergies, the NFL is not for you,” he said.
Maher then delved into the NFL’s hypocrisy regarding their ban on marijuana. “Maybe that’s why they don’t want pot in the NFL, because it’s a drug that doesn’t make you violent,” the talk show host queried. “Certainly, using it is not cheating. The only sport where you’d have an unfair advantage being stoned is a hot dog-eating contest.”
Maher ends the segment by taking a jab at Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll and his questionable play-calling abilities.