I don’t normally do this, but I feel like this dire of a situation calls for it.
People of God and otherwise: can you all join me in bowing your heads in prayer for Bradley Bozeman’s toilet, who is currently fighting for her life in her biggest test yet.
As a courtesy, please hold your farts.
I find comfort in knowing Toilet is strong, she’s withholds the weight of a 6-foot-5, 315 pounds twice a day, every day.
But there may be no coming back from The Big Texan Steak Challenge.
While traveling across country to advocate for his bullying campaign, the 25-year-old Alabama product stopped into The Big Texan in Amarillo to complete a challenge that has less than a 9% success rate.
It includes: a 4.5-pound steak (72 oz), shrimp cocktail, baked potato, salad and butter roll and must be completed in one hour.
Look at this behemoth.
Rule #4 is the number one cause of shitting your pants in all of Texas.
Mr. Bozeman would not be denied.
“I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn’t think it was going to be that tough,” Bozeman, a 6-foot-4, 317-pound lineman told ESPN. “The last bite was rough. It was really rough.”
Congrats, dude. Not many can say they did it. This dude is still mopping up his small intestine.
Bozeman was awarded the $72 dollar meal for free and given a t-shirt for his successful efforts.
But one must ask himself: at what cost?
Gone but not forgotten.
P.S. Shoutout to Paul Sacca for bringing the Old 96er back into my life.