Just like death and taxes, it seems that the one thing that’s constant in sports fans’ life is the fact that the Cleveland Browns suck balls. I would know, reluctantly admitting that, I’m a born and bred member of the Dawg Pound.
And while tonight’s start to the NFL Draft is supposed to bring hope and optimism for every single NFL franchise, sadly, only 31 of the 32 teams can feel good about what might become, because the entire Browns are so piss-poor at drafting that some smartass started a GoFundMe page to help raise money for the next victim of their terribly run franchise.
Here’s what the description says:
Ever year on a Thursday in April, an atrocity occurs to ruin the lives of a few poor souls. Men that have spent years playing and training to make it in the NFL, only to have their careers destroyed before they even start. Those frightening words that keep athletes up at night: “….the Cleveland Browns select…”
By donating today we can send flowers, and possibly provide a therapy session for the player who is inevitably going to be a shell of his former self by the end of the night. At the very least it will be used as a bar tab at a Browns Backers bar to quell the tears of grown men and women on a Sunday afternoon.
And if you need a refresher on why Browns fans might be so pessimistic about what lies ahead, never forget this fan’s jersey of starting quarterbacks the team has had since 1999, as it continues to grow longer and longer.
Former draft busts include the likes of Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden, Johnny Manziel, Justin Gilbert, Trent Richardson, Kellen Winslow, Courtney Brown…OK, I’ll stop and just donate, because the next player they draft in the first round is already fucking screwed.