Cole Beasley’s Latest Tweet Enrages People Who Care Way Too Much About Cole Beasley

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You know you’re in the doldrums of summer with no meaningful football in arm’s reach when the biggest story coming out of the league is Cole Beasley’s Health Expertise.

For those still throwing digital arrows at Julian Edelman Lite, give your fingers a rest. You are embarking on a futile endeavor. The dude who looks like he brushes his teeth with Surge is not getting poked.

He already said as much in June in a long-winded Notes admission typically fit for a felony charge.

The NFL and the NFLPA’s recently announced its plan to not only limit players that are not vaccinated for COVID-19, but force teams to forfeit and withhold pay if they cannot play scheduled games due to a COVID-19 outbreak among unvaccinated players/personnel.

Beasley, who’s made $45 million in salary in 9 seasons in the league, has made it abundantly clear on Twitter that he is rich and you are poor.

The NFL’s hard-line stance on unvaccinated players has only hardened the 32-year-old’s stance on not using protection.

One thing I learned from working on the internet is that despite how biting you believe your online burn to be, it will always, with zero exceptions, do the opposite of what you’re intending. Minds are not changed on the internet.

Come on guys, get over it. It’s not like Cole Beasley is, like, DeAndr—

Uh oh.


Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.