40. Lester Hayes
Embed from Getty ImagesLook, man, the dude’s nickname was “The Molester” and people still thought he was cool. You have to be a total boss to overcome a name like that. Sure, it was because of his tight coverage and ability to “molest” receivers, but still. The only kind of guy who could get away with that is the sort of dude who could also call himself “the only true Jedi in the NFL,” a dude like Lester Hayes.
39. Bronko Nagurski
Bronko Nagurski was one of the OG NFL badasses. But if that wasn’t enough, on the side he dabbled in pro wrestling, and became a multiple time world champion. This would be like if Peyton Manning spent his offseasons as Stone Cold Steve Austin. I mean… damn. Plus, his name was Bronko. Bronko!
38. Dhani Jones
Former Bengals linebacker Dhani Jones brought a sense of stylish cool rarely seen in the NFL. During his downtime, he even hosted shows on the Travel Network and VH1 and gave everyone a look at that rarest of beasts: the erudite and refined gentleman ass-kicker. Oh, and he also made bowties cool. The Doctor knows what I’m talking about.
37. Ed Reed
Ed Reed is hobo cool. No, I’m not entirely sure what that means either, but that’s exactly what Ed Reed is. He always looks like he just crawled off of a street corner with a “Will Work for Food” sign, but he’s been the alpha dog for a lot of badass, cool teams, from his Miami Hurricanes when he was in college to the Baltimore Ravens. Ray Lewis always got the pub, but Ed Reed was the man. He just didn’t give a shit about anything other than winning, and that’s cool as hell.
36. Gale Sayers
Gale Sayers was cool because he transcended the violence of football with an almost otherworldly grace. Only a supremely cool bro can just glide on by like a boss while everyone else is smashing each other in the mouth. Plus, he helped inspire the movie Brian’s Song, which is basically the bro version of The Notebook. Wait, that’s cooler than it sounds. I swear!
35. Dick Butkus
He’s one of the all-time NFL ass-kickers. Plus, his name is Dick Butkus. I rest my case.
34. Lawrence Taylor
LT was one of the first to really bring swag to the NFL. He was flashy, he was cool, and most importantly, he backed that shit up. Sure, he was a crackhead off the field, but even Superman had his kryptonite. His sweet, delicious kryptonite.
33. Bob Sapp
Bob Sapp had a brief NFL career, but where he really found fame – and his cool – was in Japan, where as a Mixed Martial Arts Superstar, he became a goddamn rock star. Seriously, he was all over their commercials, he constantly had cooing real-life anime characters hanging all over him all the time, and basically lived life as a modern day warrior king.
32. Jack Tatum
His nickname was “The Assassin,” and he was the heart and soul of the Raiders’ famed “Soul Patrol,” the vicious headhunting secondary that set the tone for both a franchise and an entire era of professional football. He fucking straight up paralyzed a dude. He was basically the Walter White of the NFL.
31. Jack Youngblood
Aside from having one of the coolest names in NFL history – Young Blood? Goddamn. – Jack Youngblood is on this list for one reason: he once played on a broken leg. Not just for a play or two, but for an entire playoff run, including the Super Bowl. Jesus. You wouldn’t even be able to make it to the bathroom on a broken leg.