The Dallas Cowboys Would Have To Win A Super Bowl This Season For Jason Garrett To Keep His Job, Report Claims

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Thank God Jason Garrett has a football game on Thanksgiving day so he doesn’t have to field questions from his aunts and uncles about his job in the big city, because it’s about as secure as I was wearing my dad’s suit at my high school semi-formal (I went alone. Fuck you Christina Kelsh).

We are just days removed from Jerry Jones using his head coach as a human piñata for some head-scratching coaching decisions in the Cowboys 13-9 loss to the Patriots last Sunday. Cowboys mainstay Jason Witten then backed Jones in his blunt assessment rather than applying a band-aid on Garrett’s shotgun wound.

With Garrett coaching out the final year of his contract, the Cowboys sitting at a meh 6-5 record and have yet to beat a team with a winning record, the Cowboys head coach will reportedly have to pull off a feat the franchise has not completed in nearly 25 years.

Mike Freeman of Bleacher Report claims his Cowboys sources have leaked that it’s Super Bowl or bust for Jason Garrett.

Garrett’s job security has been speculated about many times before, and he has always survived. But this time, league sources say, the rumors feel different. Garrett, who’s been the head coach in Dallas since midway through the 2010 season, would have to win a Super Bowl to keep his job, according to the sources.

Joining NFL Network’s Good Morning Football Wednesday morning, Jerry Jones’ words seem to reflect this sentiment.

The bottom line is we get graded. I’m in business. I don’t have to win the Super Bowl in business every year. I can come in sixth and have a hell of a year. But in this case, you’ve got to come in first. You’ve got to come in first. So fundamentally, you’ve asked for something that’s a very narrow window to begin with. I want Jason to get it done

Freeman cites that there is increasingly belief around the league that Jones is eyeing two candidates as Garrett’s replacement: Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer and Patriots oft-dangled offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels.

It’s almost surreal that it’s highly probably that next season we’ll see a different Cowboys coach roaming the sidelines for the first time in a decade.

You bet your bottom dollar the next man in line will not have half the clapping prowess for no damn reason Jason Garrett does.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.